Tails of a 17th Street Geisha

I don’t mind helping my sister and her daughter, but sometimes it gets to be too much.

I used to live a simple life, one focused on myself. I made a choice NOT to have children so that I could live independently, alone…

Now that my sister divorced and ended up on my doorstep (otherwise homeless) I am in this situation where they are ALWAYS at home.  They’ve lived with me for the last 6 months. I moved from the city to the suburbs and the two of them are squished in a one bedroom with me (it’s what I can afford since I’m supporting the two of them–sister is disabled and can only make $800/month INCLUDING disability support.)

So I work late, I visit friends, I work out, I spend the night @ friends, bootie call whenever possible with ex bfs… just to avoid the house hold that is comprised of my sister (manic depressant, co-dependent, new to the city) and her daughter (bipolar, agressive, ODD, OCD, and all that… and who attempts to drop out of school as often as possible) 

My sister and niece are beautiful, lovely people, but sometimes I need to be alone. I just wish I had my old life back sometimes.

I’m remembering my old life now… clubbing, new shoes, trips to NYC, new gadgets, bootie calls at MY HOUSE, not worrying about 16 year olds running away from home, not being called a bitch or being told to fuck off at the drop of the hat, not walking on egg shells for fear of starting another emotional outburst from aforementioned 16 year old, only having to pay for MY own medical bills and not for the bills of 2 other people who go to ERs at least 4 times a month.

There are some GREAT things about my life now though:

• I’m never alone at home
• my sister and niece are wonderful people with energy and life, they get me out of the house sometimes (with or without them!)
• I’ve learned how to budget my money WAY more effectively now
• I’ve learned how to stretch my salary across 3 people now
• I own a cat
• I see the value of a car
• My sister and niece are not homeless
• My sister and neice have a much better life and more stable home environment–probably helping with their mental health more

For now, I’m writing to you from my office where I continue to work late, multitask and get a lot of work done!

“they laid off my entire marketing department!”

“I’ve been looking for a job for months”

“I just lost my job, and by the sight of things here, I’m going to have a LOT of competition. Maybe I’ll go work abroad, Peace Corps or something”

I represented my organization at a job fair on Friday at the Wash, DC convention center. I have never seen a bigger mob scene at a job fair in all my years (since 1999) of recruiting and hiring for jobs/internships.

I can’t put a number on the amount of people who were there, but our table is usually not the popular because people don’t recognize the cause (pulmonary hypertension IS a rare illness)

On Friday, I felt like we were that National Organization for Women at a feminist career fair–I couldn’t leave the table for the five hours I was there, it would have felt like leaving my coworker to the wolves (the fair was only 3 hours long and people showed up en masse an hour before and were still pouring in an hour afterwards.) Between the two of us, we collected about 150 resumes from people age 25-40, all interested in the 3 entry level positions we had available.

It was discouraging to see the people with 20-30 years of experience express sincere (and great) interest in entry-level positions.

“I’ll take anything” One woman said as she threw her resume in my face and ran to the next table.

I WAS considering nursing school down the road, but I especially LOVE LOVE LOVE my current job and now I LOVE it even more considering the fact that jobs are far and few in between.

Especially now that I see the throngs of desperate job seekers swarming around entry-level jobs…

I’m going to be career-squatting and hanging on to this great job that I love!!!

Are any of my actual, face-to-face, friends reading this? Several of you asked that I start blogging again so you can read about the drama that is my life. If you are STILL on Friendster, reply back.

I don’t want no “penis enlargment” comments or any marriage proposals from Dubai please.

Thanks bitches!

I had a major freak out on Saturday night and ended up in the E.R for 7 hours, taking a bunch of tests for what they were almost sure were blood clots in my lung.

I mass-texted many of my friends on Saturday night, but only because I really needed to take my mind off the mind-blowing pain. I’m okay now, more or less! Maybe that’s the percosets talking…

Here’s the deal: sat morning I started having pain in my chest that became more and more painful, finally wrapping around my chest and started affecting my back. When the pain made me cry and I couldn’t get relief regardless of standing or sitting, John drove me to the E.R.

The docs thought I had either clots, something stuck in my esophagus, or extreme acid reflux. I have a history of stomach ulcers, got h. pylori (Oct 07), so they thought maybe it was gastro-intest. I also have had weird breathing difficulties, palpitations, etc., and even got tested for PH in 2005 (I had some symptoms, but thankfully it wasn’t PH).

Each time I’ve been in the E.R. for breathing or chest pains, they’ve said "stress" or "muscle strain" (Chosto-condritis or something.)

This time I had three doctors deliberate and run tests: EKG (for the heart), blood work (for the clots) and a chest x-ray (another for the clots.) They all came out clear–thank god!

However, they don’t know what’s wrong with me.

They said it was probably a muscle strain (I"m not so sure about that) but they gave me pain killers and acid reflux meds.
I’m a bit of a hypochondriac, but I also run myself into the ground with work, family, exercise, life, etc., and sometimes I get sick.

Let’s just say that my health is a work in progress but I’m okay now! Less stress, less caffeine and more percosets ought to do the trick!

I can’t lay down and I’m afraid to eat because it might be acid indigestion or ulcer crap… but maybe it will get better as the day progresses. It’s not too bad though. NOTHING like the excruciating pain of yesterday.

I haven’t blogged in what feels like an eternity. Basically, I got really busy. WORK! WORK! WORK!

I spent the last week of May and every week in June working 70 hours/week (one week-100 hours!)  getting ready for a big Conference.

As a result of all this mayhem and work, I am now collapsing frome exhaustion. I can barely work out. I can barely get out of bed. It’s been over 3 weeks since this event and I’m still recovering. I was fighting a cold but I feel like I’ll be back to my old self tomorrow (I WISH and HOPE)

I haven’t been this tired since I spent 3 months being the sole caregiver of a wonderful 14 year old girl (my neice drey-drey) it was hard work being a single-mom for the first time of a pre-teen and having to move to the ‘burbs and learn all the ins and outs of teenage child-rearing. CRAZINESS. I also got a dog then too.

Anywho, I hope to emerge from my exhaustion like a butterfly out of a coccoon: with new wings and the ability to fly high!

For now, I"m taking it VERY easy and avoiding EVERYONE. I have dropped some TOXIC friends and picked up a new one. I am also spending a lot of time with my old and most favorite best friend John-John. Good times.

Oh, and I did find some time to house some out of town homos (yay Aris from Seattle, Jim in Boston, Don from Orlando) and of course I partied with them during Pride! CRAZINESS.

I will blog when I’m finally back on my feet and working out like old times.

Oh, *ps* my carpel tunnel is off the chain. need PT too…

I watched Sex and the City on Friday night. It was excellent! I brought 4 girls and 3 gays with me so we had fun.

It was very strange waiting outside of the movie theater before showtime, looking out for my friends who were running late. I was immersed in a sea of well-dressed, pointy-toed heels-wearing divas. So much attitude! I heard a lot of "bitch" and "no she didn’t" well… I didn’t hear these words exactly but people’s faces looked like they could have been exclaiming these words. and by "people’s" I mean, women and gay mens’s. God, people were screaming at the screen during the movie–laughing, cheering, swearing…

The Chinatown theatre was showing Sex and the City on 6 different screens at the same time and there were two lines going for the two upcoming SATC movies. I was surprised by the droning and endless rumble of shoes and chatter. There were big groups of girls all dressed up in short skirts, cleavage-y tops, and big shoes. I got a couple of compliments from people as I walked by in my big platform Fornarina’s. I dressed them up with a black skirt and hot pink halter–skanky but I was going for the "Samantha" look.

I don’t want to give away the movie, but I was a little disappointed in the ending. Shit. I’m going to stop…

So watching the movie made me think a lot about my relationships with men. I have a "burger" (immature, hot, compatible in every way but sexually) a "mr. big" (masculine, fine tastes, "bigger than life") and … gosh, I don’t know where you would put my exbf who I have the most tumultous friendship/relationship with.

There’s one exbf who i’ve been hanging out with A LOT recently and he is my favorite. He and I get along SO well and he is SO compatible with me in every way. I’m really glad he’s back in my life as a friend and I can see ourselves having a lot of fun (until one of us starts dating someone else seriously and then we could get weird?)

Anyway, I’m holding back in this blog because I keep wanting to refer back to the movie but I can’t give up plot points. All I know is that I ALREADY want to watch the movie again (which is good because a lot of my friends wanted to see it but couldn’t do Friday night) YAY!

May 16 - DJ Irene @ Fur

May 22 - LOTR Fellowship on HD screens PLUS ORCHESTERA @ Wolftrap

May 27 - Duran Duran @ Merriweather Post Pavilian

June 14 - Bad Boy Bill @ Fur (can’t do much in June because of a work conference that’s stressin me out NOW, a month out! but I’ll make time to see BBB)

July 27 - Bob Marley Raggae Fest @ Wolftrap

but what Im REALLY looking forward to = Virgin Music Festival

Aug 9 - Dj Dan, Donald Glaude, Underworld (!), Ferry Corsten, Steve Lawler

Aug 10 - Rabbit in the Moon, Armin van Buuren, Moby, Richi Hawtin

(and yeah, there’s Gogol Bordello, Wilco, KT Tunstall, Cat Power, Kanye West, The Offspring, and NIN!)

I love the summer time! Too bad there’s no Nation in the Southeast for DJ’s EVERY weekend. I’ll get my fill of them at Pimlico. yay!

http://www.arthurdepins.com/petites_animsflash/NetClubAnim-s.swf

I feel like I"m back! I’m going to go to sleep by midnight, get up at 6am, work out for 2 hours in the AM, work until 7/8 every night and FINALLY catch up on work and life.

I’m so excited!

I’m single, I’m NOT looking, I’m fine with being alone, and I’m happy that the weather is getting better. I’m almost 100% recovered from this cold and my apartment is practically perfectly clean!

yay!

I’m sick. I’ve been battling a cold all week. I’ve been trying to be careful and not to push myself. I even spent an entire day this week asleep. I even spent much of my time in Texas lounging around and keeping it light. I brought my workout clothes hoping for at least one trip to the gym with my niece Drea and Alex (it’s what Drea and I do for FUN! nothing beats a workout and sauna relaxation)

But I was sickies and there was so much drama. I’ve had a ton of drama this week–but I survive!

I’m refinancing one of my two home loans and I’m hopefully, going to get a better rate and a couple of thousand more. I’ll be sharing that with my family (more drama) but it’s for a good cause because if your sister can’t refinance her home and loan you some money when your ship is sinking, who will?

I’m currently getting used to living along in my apartment without the following:

• my dog carmelita

• my old friend Briseyda (who was my roommate for 6 months)

• my exbf Max (who used to be over ALL the time)

Okay, I’m still his friend and this DOES seem a bit mean spirited. JUST because someone owns multiple guns, enjoys hunting, and prefers (PREFERS) to live in Virginia because of gun rights, DOESN’T make them a hick. However, he DOES identify as a red-neck jew… so if the gun fits…

I’m also in a workout rut because of my cold. I have’nt been to the gym in at least a week. Yup. It’s been a week.

I’m also teaching a class at the second annual Learn-a-palooza Teaching Festival in Washington, D.C. It’s a daylong festival where people in the community sign up to teach free workshops to anyone interested in the topics which include: dance like a burlesque dancer, get out a speeding ticket, and, ahem, "Fag Hag’s Guide to DC: Finding Gays in DC." This thing goes down on May 10, www.learnapaloozadc.com

What else? I’m going to go see the special National Cathedral lights show tomorrow night. And um… I’m going to work on Sunday. Boo hoo. Everything will be better (work wise) after June 22… why? check this out:

www.phassociation.org/conference

I can’t believe it’s only Wednesday….

I did a million things in the last 72 hours…

• Went to the gym three times
• Housed a gay friend in need visiting from Boston
• readied my house for a second gay friend,  visiting from Orlando
• Prepared ready for Aris’s return to DC from Seattle
• Planned a birthday dinner for 20 close friends somewhere on Saturday
• read (devoured) a book about divorce
• refinanced one of my two condo loans
• worked 35 hours @ the office (it’s wednesday)
  spent time with three ex-boyfriends
• read a book about IBS
• took an improv class
• booked a plane ticket to go to Texas to see my sister for my b-day

and basically spent ZERO time at home… phew! pant! *sigh*

can someone please hit me on the head with a 2 by 4 so I can slow down?

oh, and I let McCain feel me up. he kept screaming, "who’s your rogue republican! I’m the big daddy maverick! yeah. war, man. war."