Tails of a 17th Street Geisha

This is a most introspective blog post, but I had a conversation with a guy last night about the things he needed to sleep consistently and it had me evaluating myself and the things I need to sleep, to stay sane.

An exboyfriend who is bipolar controls it with medicine and  counselling, but he also has to control his environment. In order for him to stay sane (literally, sane), he has to avoid alcohol, sleep regularly and exercise consistently. He also needs a life partner who will keep things stable (which is why we couldn’t be together!)

Here is a list of the things I need in my life to stay sane:

** Water, daily. I don’t know how my sister lives her life without drinking even a glass a day. She lives off of Sprite. When I’m in a bad mood, half of the time it’s because I haven’t had enough water in the day. I think we probably wouldn’t have all these wars in the world if people drank more water. Just kidding

** Exercise, daily. I can’t sleep at night if I don’t work out for at least an hour. Now, the workout can come from walking around or something light like shopping for shoes — it’s doesn’ t need to be an intensive grueling sweat-fest at the gym.  However, the more intense the workout the better I sleep.

** A consistent sleep schedule. If I’m in bed and asleep before midnight and up by 6am (and at the gym by 6:30) I am VERY VERY happy. The last several weeks of endless birthday parties and gay-clubbing with the ‘mos is very fun, but I’m ragged at work, without focus. I also lose valuable gym momentum as I can’t wake up to workout and I never leave work early enough to work out (plus a late workout isn’t good because it takes at least 2 hours for my body to cool down to sleep)

** Music, nearly 24/7 –I can’t stress that when I’m in my apt, in front of my computer at work, working out or lollygagging around town, I want my MTV… or Pandora or iPod. I need a soundtrack to the day. The music either revs me up when I need energy, soothes me when I’m stressed, gets me in the mood getting ready to go out, or focuses my mind when I want to think or read. I remember when I lost my iPhone headphones and refused to buy new ones ($40!) I spent a week at the gym without music and my workout suffered. Give me a good beat!

** Social communication, daily – I love to talk. Remember when all we had were telephones, attached to the walls of our homes? I kinda loved those days. Cell phones, text messages, chats–are all fun, but sporadic and superficial conversations can’t be the only form our social outlet for me. Back in the olden days of landlines and call-waiting (when I was 12,) if I didn’t have a friend in front of me chatting,

 I was on the phone non-stop with them. I love having my friends to gossip, complain, debate, advise, deliberate, scheme…

if I don’t have at least one good conversation a day, I feel a little lonely, sad.

** Sex, at least 3-5 times a week –I’m currently a bitch because I’m not getting any. Climbing the mother fucking walls I tell you. Green Day has it right “Masturbation’s lost it’s fun…” it gets old after 2 weeks.

** Being alone — My God, I need at least an hour a day to myself. Otherwise I start saying things aloud that might get me locked up.

Without these things, watch out!

Things I don’t do often that keep other people sane:

** Watching TV – not so much, I can get hooked on a show, but I hate commercials and I’m never at home to watch it much. When i DO watch TV, it comes in the form of hour-long marathons through Netflix, NBC4.com or Hulu.

** Drinking/Boozing — I don’t need it, had a phase of crazy drinking in my 20s and I’m burned out. It’s out of my system. There’s a long story here, but I just don’t drink any more.

 ** Dining out — Sure it’s fun, but I would be happy (if I had time/energy) to just save money and eat at home every day. Fuck, I’m like a cat–I could eat the same Cliff Bar (or Power bar or Fiber bar) at every meal. Food is just a means to a metabolic end. However, I appreciate good food and I love the process of making a delicious meal for myself or others.I also enjoy going out from time to time, but I don’t make it into a sport and I’m not a foodie by any stretch of the imagination. An organic apple tastes exactly the same as a shiny, pesticide-filled one. I just don’t get hard for food in the same way that others seem to.

Caffeine — I enjoy coffee, love organizing the social around it, but if I’m drinking coffee or soda on a daily basis to keep my energy up then I’m doing something wrong and I need to fix my regular schedule. Therefore, I usually don’t need caffeine to stay sane and I hated my life when I was addicted to it. I had a 2 red bull a day habit during my darkest time of life, working for a TERRIBLE boss who makes the Star War’s Emperor look like an Ewok.

I woke up to a call from Verizon Fios–they’re coming any time from 11am to 2pm. HOW fucked up is that? Now I can’t go to Arlington to go knocking on doors and canvass for my friend’s campaign. Poop.

So here’s the NEW plans for weekend of fun:

Saturday

1) rearrange furniture in the living room — now that Drea is in Baltimore, I’m going to open up her half of the living room and make it twice as big.

2) shop online for a balance ball, kettle ball and some free weights. Might get the heavy stuff at a store (shipping would be a bitch), but I’m going to look into it

3) pilates DVD… it’s been so long since I’ve used these DVDs and they were EXCELLENT. If I have to kill 4 hours in my apartment, I’m going to work up a sweat

5)  Friend’s birthday party and then salsa lessons with coworker

Sunday

I know i have something going on but I forget.. :/ Oh right… motorcycle riding with a friend. Hmm… have to decide if I REALLY want to do that. this would involve me wrapping my arms around him and sitting close for hours. Not sure I want to do that with THIS guy. Of course, never ever been on a bike before…

Just because somebody fucks well does not mean they’ll make a good potential  boyfriend. NEXT!

I have been on a high-speed dating spree for the last month.

It all started out with Twitter… haha embarrassing!

In the beginning of April, I met up with a Twitter friend who I had intended to be friends. There was so much unexpected attraction that within 48 hours of meeting him, it became a bootie call — well, bootie call was the intention. Having Drea and Alex in DC for the last 8 months — you can’t really develop a relationship under these circumstances with my priorities being focused on my family and all…

He posed the thought (post-romp spooning) that he didn’t care that I had such family circumstances — he wanted to date me. It made me realize: with Drea in the residential and Alex making friends of her own, managing her own money (sort of),  I COULD date guys with the intention of a relationship.

What a GREAT revelation! No more bootie calling with exboyfriends! No more bootie-calls with ”friends with benefits.” No more random hook ups — I’m way too old for that.  

Now that Drea was going to be taken care of in a long-term residential, I could actually date… 

So I went out a couple of times with him and was actually happy! I guess other guys pick up on a girl when she’s happily dating, so all of a sudden I was getting hit on, getting numbers, and getting asked out throughout April. At first, I ignored these come ons (some of whom were from HOTTIES!), because I was thinking of the first guy who I was “dating.” After a week of miscommunication and difficulty connecting with the guy “who broke my dating seal” I started to go out with other guys. I was a little disgruntled and also a nervous that my time of “freedom” to date would fleeting… maybe Drea would be let out early?  

Serial dating has taken its toll:

1) it interferes exercise, going out at night means later nights and difficulty waking up early for the AM workout

2) it’s hell on my diet. going out to eat a lot means weight gain. even if you order the right thing–there are hidden calories everywhere

3) it’s hell on my ego. I went out with this guy who I THOUGHT was into me, but then he never called back! He was pretty hot and told me he would call after his parents trip to town was over, but I got no love.

4) I get catholic guilt trips from saying “no” — after a date with this guy, he kept texting and calling me. I eventually had to tell this guy I wasn’t interested in a very direct way and I felt awful about it.

5) it’s exhausting! Dating involves you spieling about yourself, your life, your family, your work, your interests, blah blah and my life feels so complicated and so heavy, that it’s really fucking tough to tailor my life story to something acceptable and not S-C-A-R-Y.

Ironically enough, after all this dating I’m still enamoured with the first guy who broke the seal. He doesn’t seem to be AS into me and is super busy with his social life to really see me much.

So that said, EVEN THOUGH I have time and ability to date (and not bootie call) I am going to stop dating random guys. I’m also going to take a break from bootie calls. NO MORE EX BOYFRIENDS! No more Cleveland Park, Woodley Park or the others.

I know I’ve said that before, and while Cleveland Park is very enticing, I am going to quit all of these chumps! Focusing…