I give up!
Being a caregiver sucks sometimes.
I thought it was going to be a helluva lot easier now that my niece is getting the care she needs and is in the psych hospital. Don’t get me wrong, it’s a HUGE relief and I’m totally happy about it, but… it’s not all good yet.
Maybe it’s just the time of year for my sister to get SUPER SUPER SUPER suicidal-level depressed, but this is hard. This time of year, around her birthday, she does very passive aggressive self-destructive things that land her in the hospital (ICU usually)
THIS WEEK my sister was told by two doctors that she needs to check herself into a psych hospital for care. She’s too depressed to take her meds. For the last 3 weeks she hasn’t taken half of her meds (she ran out of them and needed to press her doctor to fill the prescriptions for her but she hasn’t)
She doesn’t take care of herself, she leaves the house a big old mess, she loses things, forgets to make important medical payments, forgets VERY SERIOUS tasks for Drea’s mental health… she’s totally down in the dumps.
When I take time after work to do personal things, like work out or hang out with friends, I come home and she’s passed out or half-alive & miserable. I took every night out this week to clean up and get my apartment ready for the new renter and when I came home, the apartment looked like armageddon
I know she’s lonely, new city, fresh divorce, daughter in a psych hospital ill with an incurable, chronic illness… but I’m not sure what I can do for her.
I’m at work M-F, and I think I have to come home afterwards instead of meeting with friends.
I love her to pieces, but it’s been 8 months and I can’t spend all my time with her when I’m not at work.
It’s so much easier to have a sex life than a love life.
It’s so much easier to have a gym buddy than a regular old buddy.
Every time I see my friends, I realize that months have passed since I last spent time with them.
Next blog: the silver lining!
