Tails of a 17th Street Geisha

There are a couple of days in the year that are permanently etched in my mind. These are days of reflection and sometimes days of action:

1) My sister Susan’s death date: April 5, 2006

Every year I take this day off from work for reflection. This year I tried to live it up and be cheerful for my other sister who lives with me. When she gets in a depression, it’s really REALLY difficult to get her out of it.

2) Drea’s FIRST move in date: September 5, 2006

This day is the first day of PART ONE of my niece’s stay with me in Silver Spring. I took care of her for 3 months BY MYSELF until I couldn’t take care of her mental health issues.

3) Drea and Alex’s big move date: August 15, 2008

This was the first day of my new life as a caregiver to two emotionally disturbed people (one of whom is disabled and considered “terminally ill.”)

4) The date I met John: September 30, 1999

This was the day that I ended a HORRIBLE relationship with the prior boyfriend. This previous boyfriend slowly undermined me and oppressed me to the point of powerlessness. I didn’t realize over time that he took me away from friends and family and then ultimately, my own identity! After meeting John, I had the strength to DTMFA. John didn’t do anything but show me that men are not all evil and scary! Boy did I have issues. DID I have issues? LOL I’m sure I have a lot of security and trust issues still.  Maybe that’s why I can’t commit.

Tomorrow, April 15, is not just tax day (although I wish it wasn’t tax day…)

April 15 is the 9 month anniversary of the end of my single, fancy free life. When I had Drea for the first time in the fall of 2006, I thought I was going to have her forever. It only lasted 3 months–there was only so much I could do as a newly single-mom with no transportation to a very emotionally disturbed girl.

This time, with my sister in tow, I thought it would be easier. It was VERY VERY difficult as I had TWO people to take care of, not a second person to help with Drea. Ultimately, I balanced supporting my sister and empowering her to be a better mother, but it’s still not 100% perfect.

I still can’t believe that we survived the last 9 months.

I don’t know why I love helping other people so much, but sometimes it nearly kills me. God knows that blogging about it provides such a needed relief and deflation of surmounting pressure/anxiety.

This entry was posted on Tuesday, April 14th, 2009 at 2:47 pm and is filed under Uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.