I’m avoiding my house!
I don’t mind helping my sister and her daughter, but sometimes it gets to be too much.
I used to live a simple life, one focused on myself. I made a choice NOT to have children so that I could live independently, alone…
Now that my sister divorced and ended up on my doorstep (otherwise homeless) I am in this situation where they are ALWAYS at home. They’ve lived with me for the last 6 months. I moved from the city to the suburbs and the two of them are squished in a one bedroom with me (it’s what I can afford since I’m supporting the two of them–sister is disabled and can only make $800/month INCLUDING disability support.)
So I work late, I visit friends, I work out, I spend the night @ friends, bootie call whenever possible with ex bfs… just to avoid the house hold that is comprised of my sister (manic depressant, co-dependent, new to the city) and her daughter (bipolar, agressive, ODD, OCD, and all that… and who attempts to drop out of school as often as possible)
My sister and niece are beautiful, lovely people, but sometimes I need to be alone. I just wish I had my old life back sometimes.
I’m remembering my old life now… clubbing, new shoes, trips to NYC, new gadgets, bootie calls at MY HOUSE, not worrying about 16 year olds running away from home, not being called a bitch or being told to fuck off at the drop of the hat, not walking on egg shells for fear of starting another emotional outburst from aforementioned 16 year old, only having to pay for MY own medical bills and not for the bills of 2 other people who go to ERs at least 4 times a month.
There are some GREAT things about my life now though:
- I’m never alone at home
- my sister and niece are wonderful people with energy and life, they get me out of the house sometimes (with or without them!)
- I’ve learned how to budget my money WAY more effectively now
- I’ve learned how to stretch my salary across 3 people now
- I own a cat
- I see the value of a car
- My sister and niece are not homeless
- My sister and neice have a much better life and more stable home environment–probably helping with their mental health more
For now, I’m writing to you from my office where I continue to work late, multitask and get a lot of work done!
March 4th, 2009 at 2:05 pm
[...] Debbie added an interesting post on Iâ [...]
March 4th, 2009 at 5:25 pm
[...] Iâm avoiding my house! I don’t mind helping my sister and her daughter, but sometimes it gets to be too much. I used to live a simple life, one focused on myself. I made a choice NOT to have children so that I could live independently, alone… Now that my sister divorced and ended up on my doorstep (otherwise h… [...]
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March 11th, 2009 at 7:56 am
keep writing, you’ll feel better afterwards. It helps me too when I have too much going on.
Good luck
March 12th, 2009 at 11:27 am
i found it useful when stephen was on my couch and if i was getting stir crazy to make him go out for an evening so i could have the place to myself. you may want to institute this.
March 14th, 2009 at 8:56 pm
thanks Janelle and Diane! I haven’t been home in 2 weeks. I just go to friend’s houses and stop by home to pick up clothes. I’ve been living out of my backpack really. don’t mind it so much.
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