Tails of a 17th Street Geisha

"If I were your sister, I would do anything in my power to save your life"

My so-called best friend left me a note along with a "12 Steps from Alcoholics Anonymous"  book  on my kitchen counter while I was away at the gym.

Sounds like I need an intervention, right?

If you know ANYTHING about me, you know that I don’t drink alcohol. I don’t do drugs. I haven’t had an alcoholic drink in the last 2 years, 5 months, and 27 days… spoken like a true recovering alchy!

But seriously–I’ve stopped drinking ever since someone slipped a roofie in my drink during my sister Jennifer’s wedding and I ended up in deep shit (old readers and friends: remember THAT blog, the morning after?) Watch 28 days and you’ll see me on the screen as the main character.

How can someone who is my BEST FRIEND think I have a drinking problem? I have spent most of my after work hours and weekends with (when I’m not canoodling with Max) I go to clubs, bars and restaurants with her and NEVER so much as hint at wanting a drink.

Here’s what happened in the hours leading up to her hilariously-off-kilter note:

Bri used to see me virtually daily. She came over last Saturday morning because I offered to cook her brunch. I woke up feeling groggy (overslept) and in a bad mood, so she tells mem  that something is wrong and asked if I had been drinking the night before.

Oh, hell-to-the-no!

So we hang out during the day after brunch and it’s uncomfortable. My unease from oversleeping and overworking of the week caused her to misinterpret my behavior and react with quiet, awkward behavior of her own. At one point she tells me that she’s especially psychic today–because it’s her period–and that she knows something is going on more deeply inside of me. She then says that I need substance abuse counselling. Then we both got silent (because I found her assertion really off-base and shocking for someone who I thought knew me better than that) This day spiralled into us ignoring eachother until we departed from Dupont Metro (I headed to gym and she went to Whole Food in the opposite direction.)

I went to the gym, spent some time with my old friend Chris (aka Spinach Dip) and came home to dsicover the treat on my kitchen counter.

It’s like waking up to find a lover sleeping next to you who has no idea who you are. It was the weirdest thing.

I asked for my comforter back (that we used when I helped her take my TV to her apartment–I had an extra one that I offered to her) and she left it in my condo with her spare key and security card.

I am sad to have lost a friend, but apparently, it was someone who I was superficially attached to–someone who really REALLY didn’t know me. In spite the fact that SHE LIVED WITH ME FOR FIVE MONTHS! Isn’t that craziness?

This entry was posted on Wednesday, January 30th, 2008 at 7:30 pm and is filed under Uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can skip to the end and leave a response. Pinging is currently not allowed.