Tails of a 17th Street Geisha

This month marks a roommate leaving and a new one coming in with only one weekend to myself (and another will take the place of current #2 at the end of november.)

Last week marked 3 dates with 2 jews (it’s called jdate, I’m um, pro-semitic?) and countless lessons learned. I forgot about goodnight kiss etiquette and behavior with the first guy (I ran out of his car hoping to end the date without even a hug!)

Last weekend marks the first temper tantrum in a long while (i promise it’s because I skipped working out 2 days in a row!)

Yesterday marks the longest night at work that I’ve had in a while (left at 11:00PM)

This morning marks the first time I didn’t half ass a dog walk for Carmie in a long while–she got an hour and twenty.

This night marks a return to the gay scene (but possibly temporarily)

Oh, and I finally got my taxes back from Uncle Sam.

This month was a bit chaotic.

Can’t wait for Thanksgiving and to finally take a break and sleep on a bed and relax!!!

I finally understand something about the way my mind and body work together.

I have been moody really lately, a little emotionally reactive and easily upset. I flipped out Thursday night for missing Paul van Dyke and then Friday night for Carl Cox and then Saturday night for not going out… I blamed my friends for not liking electronica, for not wanting to go party on a thursday night, for flaking (which actually did happen) and for not inviting me to join them on Halloween with more notice…

really, I was being UBER sensitive and moody because I had missed working out for two days in a row. when you get used to working out daily, you kind of become an endorphin junky. 2 days without hard core gym workouts make me a little pissy.

the thing that’s weird is that, I have been losing more weight by NOT working out than when I do. when I work out, my metabolism jumps and I eat more. I’m happy when I’m consistently working out and enjoy eating more. When i’m not working out, I’m depressed and food does not appeal to me. These last days of moodiness were suprising because I didn’t have an urge to eat. I barely ate a thing and didn’t have an appetite so I ended up losing weight really quickly!

what should I do? Be miserable, with low-metabolism, pissy and thin or be a big eating, work-out happy, friendly beeotch?

I have no friends. NObody loves me. I have finally become a jill-of-all-trades when it comes to friends. I have a million friends who I know only ever so slightly and I’m not on anybody’s radar when it comes o partying or halloween.

here’s a recipe for becoming a hermit: take 6 months in a relationship, add 5 months tending to a roommate who was new to DC and knew NO ONE in the city,   mix in 3 months of dog duty morning/noon/night… and what do you get? ME!

I wanted to see Carl Cox but everyone had something else better to do or was not interested. Then it was rainy. Then everyone was tired. I guess I’m sad because I pulled together a great costume at the last minute and was all dressed with somewhere to go… but no one to go with

I know I’m totally whining, but I’ve never felt more alone in my life. Even as a big ass drunk back in the day I felt like I had more friends. I had no friends when I was little and it’s a sad feeling.

I miss Paul.

So I went out on two dates this week. It was fun and a little adventurous. The first guy was a little bit of a pervert but I think I might have egged him on. The second guy reminded me of my old ex Dallas (for better or worse). I have some GREAT stories about both dates, but goddammit if my carpel tunnel will let me tell in on this blog.

Oh, so I also realize that I no longer have gay male friends. None of my old gay friends so much as text me anymore. Aris is great and I hang out with him, but I’m wondering where all my friends go and why my pack of friends are always changing. 

Why am I constantly changing my friendship circle? Why do I not have any friends for life? Sometimes I feel so alone in the fact that I don’t have a steady circle. My goddamn dog has been the only consistent source of fun and friendship.

I also wish I ran in a different circle. Since I’ve been abandoned by all my fags (maybe I’ve just abandoned the gay clubs) I really have an opportunity to run with a different pack. I REALLY really REALLY wish I could run with some edm fans. There are a LOT, a TON of djs coming to DC now and I have no one reliable to go with. Drell is so flaky, I have a better chance predicting sunshine in Seattle than I do knowing when I’m going to hang out with him next.

I missed Paul Van Dyk because there was no one to go with. My date of last night was really sweet and offered to accompany me, but when he said he did not like loud music, I decided not to torture him.

Am I really going to go to Carl Cox alone tonight? I’m SUCH a loser.

*PS* I found some SUPER HOT Fornarina shoes in DC. AT MARSHALL’S!!! For 30 bucks!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!     I was so excited I nearly screamed. they’re grey platform knee length boots and they’re good for my halloween costume and good for clubbing. SO HAPPY!

I have a problem: overexposure to gays. What does this mean?

It means that I have seen every kind of gay man:

biker, baker, bear.
small, medium, large.
clean and dirty.
femme or butch
drunkards and druggies,
christians and homebodies.
gayasion, mexicana, greeka, italiana,  blacka, native ama, israelia, canadiana, pakia, indiana, brita, etcs
stonewall to logcabin,
skanky,  monogomous.
gym bunnies, twinks, 
aber-zombies, gap heads, muscle tees, professor looks
emo, indie, alterna, goth
tops, bottoms, power bottoms, versatiles…
rave, rock, rap
political, apolitical, hypothetical, miracle whip

What’s Oprah’s song? I’m every woman. There’s  gay for every occasion. Overexposure is great in breaking down gay stereotypes etc., But I’m a grande faghag so I’ve been loving gays since I was first dated them in junior high and overexposure is a curse.

WHY? My gaydar is broken. EVERYONE seems gay to me. Even if they’re married with kids  ("did you see the mandals that guy was earing?") Even if they talk about how great this girl looks or how hot that girl’s body is (could be covering up for something…?) if there’s a twinkle in their eye, I think they’re gay.

When I’m scouring a crowd for my next booty call and am not sure, what’s the test? I have this joke that when I say "downtown" my man better not think of Farrugut Metro or Metro Center stops on the red line. hardee har.

Okay, Okay, I know. If I’m dating/doing someone that means their straight, right?
I don’t believe so.

It’s still NOT SO EASY to come out of the closet. So long as their is discrimination and bigotry:

• at home, among family;
• in the workplace, among colleagues;
• in the public, among strangers;
• at places of worship, among those who would stone you or convert you than accept your you;
• in Hollywood, where gays are still tokens and even Tom Cruise can’t come out of the closet;

And let’s say you don’t live in San Fran, NYC, LA, or a liberal big city (and even if you do), if you want to hold the hand of your gay bf you’ll likely have to deal with snickers, sneers, snide remarks, sexual slurs, expletives, intimidation, threats of violence or even violent and aggressive acts if in the wrong place at the wrong time (Matthew Shephard died at the age of 21 in 1998 NOT in a time like 1948 or  even 1978)

So how do I know? How do I know if he’s thinking of me? I say a prayer but too shy, can’t speak…

My body feels so good right now. My arms and my legs especially. I feel all tingly and numb–in a good way. So, um. I feel like I just ran 3 miles and hit the runner’s high, but like, without the pain in my heel and knees. What’s going on?

ooooh yeah. I got a massage. Sweet.

Okay, I was with an old ex. He always rocks my boat and is always good. Somehow though, I felt kind of weird afterwards. Something wasn’t right. I think I’m going to cut off all connections with him.

Here’s what is wrong. I am not just satisfied with a booty call anymore. However, I don’t want a full on relationship though. This guy seems to be a perfect fit for a "friend with benefits" or something a little bit more than a booty call.

For God’s sake, who can turn their back (in a bad way) on a massage therapist who is a good romp? Still, I don’t like the part of the booty call when they leave. It feels so tawdry afterwards. I think I am going to swear off booty calls from now on. I also think the only way for me to swear it off is to say no or to completely cut off the one guaranteed gooooood booty call that I am currently enjoying. So that’s it. Deleted his number from cell phone. I’m either going to date or become a nun or have hairy palms. That’s all!

Woodley was too shy, Cleveland too aggressive

Woodley spent too much time getting in the mood, Cleveland was rushing off to the next thing

Cleveland would finish a bit too fast, Woodley would rarely finish

Cleveland would do everything and then some, Woodley would rarely stray from the basics

Woodley was not sexual enough, Cleveland too sexual

Can I find someone in the middle please?

Well, to be honest, Cleveland was great, fantastic in so many ways and Woodley was wonderfully romantically and very emotional. But there’s got to be something in the middle? Tenleytown? ehhe