What do you do to heal and start life anew when you break up?
Drink hardcore?
Work hardcore?
Party hardcore?
Do anything hardcore to get your mind off of things?
Not me! I dwell in it!
I’ve been looking at old pictures, emails, text messages, IMs, wondering where things went wrong. What I might have done differently.
Oh, how I love to cry over spilt milk!
The beat goes on, life is strange with this piece of my life that has changed. What do you do when some one who had so much meaning in your life is completely gone?
I have gone into deep-thought mode and withdrawal from society! I’ve been spending most of my time with my dog Carmie (which is a good thing) and have tried as hard as I can to make it to the gym every day (it’s turning out to be at least every other day.)
What’s weird is that I don’t feel single. I keep referring to my ex as my boyfriend! I haven’t gotten used to the concept of being alone yet (does that make me a loser?)
I also spy on his myspace page from time to time (okay, nearly daily!) to see how he’s handling it and to see if he’s just as lost as I am (he seems fine?! hard to tel.l)
More than anything I’m kind a bored. My boyfriend was 100% of my social time, so let’s just say that I have a lot more time on my hand… 
I haven’t had a hard time doing fun and social things, but I"m sad to have lost a great best friend. Who will come and dance with me to Moby when Buzz returns to Fur? Who even knows what that means? Who would have freaked out that ComicCon was at Baltimore last weekend? Who would have wanted to catch the tail end of the 80s film fest at AFI? Who would have wanted to trek around with me at the Meridian haunted house?
For now, it’s just me!
the beat goes on!
