I wish life was easier. I understand that i
n my life, things are wonderful and good, but for a close loved one and her family, they are struggling.
Picture this: You are a good kid.
Life seems challenging with a dad who was in Iraq for 2 years and then sent to the border for another 2 years. When he WAS around, we wasn’t really emotionally available. Let’s say that your mom wasn’t emotionally available as well because she is terminally ill and clinically depressed.
All of a sudden you hit your rebellious teen years.
You’re struggling for an identity, you’re unhappy with the changes happening in your life. You’re not old enough to be an adult and you’re not young enough to be babied. You’re getting a taste of some freedoms but feel like things are unstable and at the same time, not free enough. the teenage years are hard. You don’t know who you are and no one really understands you (but other kids your age, mostly)
Then throw on top of that a chaotic household that is mostly single-mom run and that single mom doesn’t seem to care (but it’s really depression which is also something that is hard to understand and grasp and won’t be understood during the teenage years.)
You have two little sisters, one of whom you think is spoiled and "perfect" in the adults eyes and the other who is so behaviourally challenged and soaks up a lot of time and attention. You are lost, the eldest child of 3 but in the position of middle child when it comes to getting attention. What are you going to do?
In this frame of mind, you go nuts, you get frustrated, you want love, you don’t want to feel abandoned but you do, you want to do the right thing but no one seems to care either way. everyone is making decisions about you and you don’t feel included or heard.
I know what you’re going through and never forget you are an amazing kid and you are loved.
It doesn’t seem like it, but the adults are looking out for your best interest but sometimes they don’t say the right things or react in the most positive ways. They really care even if it doesn’t feel like it. They’re frustrated and want to do the right thing. You might not like what the "right thing" is either!
Please know that there will come a time when you will be separated from all this stress and that life does get easier!!! These are crazy times but there will be a time when you are fully independent and in college having the TIME OF YOUR LIFE working to be a veterinarian and having a good time in the process.
You will look back at this time and think, wow, they were tough but I got through them and thank God I survived it because life is good now and it was what had to happen. Your parents love you and they worry because they want what’s best for you. They care about you–they have to–IT’S THEIR JOB! Although you can’t fire them.
I look forward to the day when you are in college, studying to be a veterinarian, playing with dogs and cats for a living and driving around with freedom and happiness! You deserve it and it will be your destiny.
Love you lots,
your auntie deb
