Tails of a 17th Street Geisha

I haven’t been able to go to bed at a decent hour since I’ve been back.
Life has been alarmingly placed on hold for me. Work is going at
breakneck speed, but my social life has slowed to a crawl. Last
Saturday I spent lazing around in the sun with my good gay bfs, Filip
and Chris (aka spinach). That day featured a cameo appearance by Brad
and some other dude he’s dating… but I was only out because of the
weather.

Oh
shit, I forgot to mention that I ran into an ex-fling and an ex-boy
friend of 3 years. John flippin Punsalan! He was much cuter than his
friendster/myspace pictures let on (he looks old and ragged in them),
but he had aged and I realized then that 8 years makes a different in
age… I was 22 when he was 30, now he is 37… eeks, how old does that
make me?

I
think I have grown much better looking with age. I’m more confident,
smarter, my hair is much better tended for and my style (while less
flamboyent) is more relaxed and classier (i don’t wear turquoise or hot
pink eye shadow like back in the fag hag days… I was so fabulous back
then!)

I
digress. So I’m back in DC. It has been approximately 1 week since I
have moved back into my old place. One week of living in DC and going
to work consistently.

I have reversed everything now.

Work is more important than life outside of it. I don’t work out, I stay indoors, I live in the city but take no advantage of it. I avoid friends when before I embraced them and shuffled Drea around to meet them.

Things were so unstable with Drea and no wonder I’m so sick–I ran
myself ragged! I was so stressed about having enough money to pay for
bills, how much more work would I compromise with Drea’s illnesses and
school obligations, what condition is my condo in DC in and how long
can I count on renter being there?

I
was busy but Drea and I fought a lot! I cried so much with Drea, I felt
so bad that she was unhappy and that I wasn’t being a good enough
guardian. Why am I sad now? Maybe I’m not sad but bored. Maybe I’m sick
of being sick?

Maybe I’m just getting winter blues or just lagging because I HAVEN’T WORKED OUT IN 6 WEEKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!

oh god.

OH
GOD! I miss that treadmill, the sweat, the endorphins, the smell of the
WSC conditioner, the coolness of the air when first entering the silver
spring pool… I need to get better and staying up at night is not
going to help. Why can’t I go to sleep? And why is my exboyfriend Chris
messing with my mind? Is HE stressing me out?

That’s a whole other story that I won’t get into because I’ll be here all night typing. Good night and GOOD LUCK!

This entry was posted on Wednesday, January 10th, 2007 at 8:57 pm and is filed under Uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can skip to the end and leave a response. Pinging is currently not allowed.