My Heart Really Hurts
I
found out that Drea’s dad wants her to leave on Saturday. I don’t want
to explain why he wants to on this blog, but his mind is made up.
I’m so heart broken over it.
I
know that Drea’s life is going to be radically different. I found out
that Drea is going to be living with her dad in a small rural Texas
border town. She isn’t going to be able to bring our pup Carmelita and
she’s going to be alone at night (her dad works graveyard shifts or
something). She is going to have to eat dinners alone and do her
homework alone, with no help. Who will help her with her spanish? Who
will she sit on and wrestle with when she’s feeling energetic? How will
she get her boundless energy out if she’s in a hotel room while her
dad’s at work? Who will take her to her doctors appointments? Who will
take her to counseling? When will her dad see her?
Why does she
have to leave so soon? I haven’t taken her to NYC yet.. 
She hasn’t
even seen the friggin White House nor thrown eggs at Bush’s passing
motorcade.
I won’t wake up to her groggy smile. I won’t be
greeted with her bouncing and prouncing when I come home from work. I
won’t have a gym partner to motivate me after work when she’s bored
from the 2 hours she’s home alone.
My problem is that I can’t
remember the reasons why she needs to go back. I know that her medical
needs take a ton of time off my work. I know that it’s been hard for me
to work overtime with her at home waiting for me. I know that every
time I go get groceries it’s double the amount and that I can’t find a
subleter to take over my condo in Jan-June so I would either pay double
rent or be forced to take Drea to a DC middle school (very dangerous
and not feasible). I also know that I was tethering on the verge of
insanity at her most recent meltdown and that these meltdowns were
growing more frequent and increasingly severe.
We had some good
times. I wish I had the time to send her off properly, with multiple
parties. A lunchtime party with coworkers, a party with school friends,
a party with my friends at the house, a party at her favorite
restaurant/bar/pool-hall the Asylum, a party at her favorite dance
venue–The Black Cat. Everywhere she went she touched people,
entertained them, made them laugh.
I’m so sad I can’t go to sleep right now. I’m going to miss my little baby-la.
November 29th, 2006 at 5:26 am
Debs, I’m so sorry. I’d give you a hug if I were in DC right now.
November 29th, 2006 at 3:33 pm
Iranian.Lan guage:persian.City:tehran.Email:tehranpetred@yahoo.com. I love you and want to be friend you………………
November 29th, 2006 at 5:45 pm
awwwwwwwwwwwww
November 29th, 2006 at 9:09 pm
Deb, its really hard to leave when you are already attached to the place & to other people whom you with. But,sometimes there is a reason why a person needs to go away and begin a new life somewhere.Just think that, God has a good reason why. I know,in due time you will able to adjust. Godbless! I was touch by your warmth concerns & worries…
November 30th, 2006 at 7:35 am
deb,thats life!u have to on….god bless and may the force be with you!smile….
November 30th, 2006 at 7:29 pm
hello u know all i can i say ia that, everyone of this world have its own direction thats whay maybe thats the only way that ur friendship will put into trialz, dont worry about that just keep in touch to her.. your friend.. jethro_james22@yahoo.com.ph
December 1st, 2006 at 12:16 am
Hi…I wish this bible verse would relieve you in a way.
“I reckon that sufferings of the present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory to come that one day will be revealed in us.Rom 8:18″ GOD BLESS YOU:)
December 1st, 2006 at 11:49 am
deb i like to read your blogs but this one’s really shook me. y’know its really hard even to imagine that a people that we used to hang out with, share a meal with, share a bed with, fighting with on days of craziness, especially person we shared love with. but we’re living in a constantly changing world. if we had laughter today pause and find out what’ll give you tears tommorow. i mean you have to be ready for tommorow’s outcome.. this way you’ll learn how to get over to the next heartache.. ciao!!
December 1st, 2006 at 2:11 pm
wow i totally dont know you but your words are very strong and powerful you seem to be a sweetheart best wishes for you.. both
December 1st, 2006 at 8:09 pm
I could feel and sense what you’re going through with your words… all the best..
December 2nd, 2006 at 11:16 am
do u love her? that will be the answer to everything
December 2nd, 2006 at 7:50 pm
:-*
December 3rd, 2006 at 12:03 pm
HELLO
HW R U? IM PAUL IM ONLY PASS 2 SAY HI
TAKE CARE WITH MY BEST REGARD BYE
December 4th, 2006 at 7:25 am
hello ^.^
December 4th, 2006 at 10:48 am
hi
December 4th, 2006 at 6:18 pm
Elow i enjoy reading ur blog… Can i add you mah buddy list? muelguyy@yahoo.com
December 4th, 2006 at 9:28 pm
Debb,
As I know that to see the Beautiful Rainbow, we need the rain and also the sun shine, so.. dont worry too much abt yr Drea, you’ll find His reason someday. Chayo!
December 4th, 2006 at 9:57 pm
don’t be so sad
you know“the sun will always shine for you!!
December 5th, 2006 at 8:07 pm
cool…
December 14th, 2006 at 3:30 pm
oh, touch kaayo ko dai ani nGa articLenimo dai. kahiLakon ko basa*** aLL i Can say is; thats Life shouLd be, u needed to be huRt, sometimes, to Learn s0me impt vaLues in Life.. dont woRRy Life is pRecious, s0 enjoy whiLe it Last, have God’s Love and caRe…^_^