Tails of a 17th Street Geisha

 I
found out that Drea’s dad wants her to leave on Saturday. I don’t want
to explain why he wants to on this blog, but his mind is made up.

I’m so heart broken over it.

I
know that Drea’s life is going to be radically different. I found out
that Drea is going to be living with her dad in a small rural Texas
border town. She isn’t going to be able to bring our pup Carmelita and
she’s going to be alone at night (her dad works graveyard shifts or
something). She is going to have to eat dinners alone and do her
homework alone, with no help. Who will help her with her spanish? Who
will she sit on and wrestle with when she’s feeling energetic? How will
she get her boundless energy out if she’s in a hotel room while her
dad’s at work? Who will take her to her doctors appointments? Who will
take her to counseling? When will her dad see her?

Why does she
have to leave so soon? I haven’t taken her to NYC yet.. She hasn’t
even seen the friggin White House nor thrown eggs at Bush’s passing
motorcade.

I won’t wake up to her groggy smile. I won’t be
greeted with her bouncing and prouncing when I come home from work. I
won’t have a gym partner to motivate me after work when she’s bored
from the 2 hours she’s home alone.

My problem is that I can’t
remember the reasons why she needs to go back. I know that her medical
needs take a ton of time off my work. I know that it’s been hard for me
to work overtime with her at home waiting for me. I know that every
time I go get groceries it’s double the amount and that I can’t find a
subleter to take over my condo in Jan-June so I would either pay double
rent or be forced to take Drea to a DC middle school (very dangerous
and not feasible). I also know that I was tethering on the verge of
insanity at her most recent meltdown and that these meltdowns were
growing more frequent and increasingly severe.

We had some good
times. I wish I had the time to send her off properly, with multiple
parties. A lunchtime party with coworkers, a party with school friends,
a party with my friends at the house, a party at her favorite
restaurant/bar/pool-hall the Asylum, a party at her favorite dance
venue–The Black Cat. Everywhere she went she touched people,
entertained them, made them laugh.

I’m so sad I can’t go to sleep right now. I’m going to miss my little baby-la.

Craziness!

Who would have thought that one single bulletin board post would have brought on a maelstrom of "where the f are you moving to?" or from my fave Don, "don’t keep me out of the loop girl!"

Here’s the long and short of it:

Thanksgiving was a great catalyst,  speeding up some decision making for me.  Was Drea staying in DC? Would I find a subleter to take my pad in DC so I could start making money (or at least stop losing money?) Would I get some action with benefits from a friendship with ex bf Chris? (NO!)

Drea and I had a cycle of emotional tidal waves. What brought it on? Perhaps a skipped dose (or two) of zol-to-the-loft. Maybe I needed a dose of the Ann-to-the-Taylor-to-the-loft, or at least more me time or retail therapy. What came to pass (invoking Galadrial) was an ugly confrontation that left me weeping from exhaustion and Drea bitter with anger. Things have stabilized dramatically since Thanksgiving weekend with Roz helping with babysitting and Wendy  babysitting me!  Thank GOD for Wendy with her sound advice, patience and big time support of my mental nervous breakdowns.

Thanks to Wendy and Roz, I got to nap for at least an hour, spent several hours without too many worries (until I freaked out about Drea not returning back to Roz’s pad after a half hour of dog walking).

Two times during the last 4 days did I have a serious mental breakdown and had almost executed plans of sending Drea back to Texas permanently.

Okay, so long story short: I’m signing lease over, moving back to condo in DC AND taking Carmelita back with me to DC. I will most likely be couch surfing with Roz and Wendy or others until my subleter leaves (that’s free rent that Wendy intends on converting to vacation money!) Craziness.

I am no longer a single mom, no longer a suburbanite, and officially a dog person.

We have a doggity dog!

She is the sweetest dog in the universe. Drea is doing a great job crate training her. Carmelita nows spends at least 10 minutes in the crate without crying. During the day we’ve been leaving her in the bathroom until Drea returns from school. Carmelita takes a little longer than an hour to go shit after she eats, so it’s a little hard in the morning. This morning I woke up at 4am (I have no idea, stress? excitement? Ever since election day, I’ve been getting less and less sleep (you THINK you know why, but it has nothing to do with the dems + Pelosi!)

Okay, so Carmelita slept all through the night and was such a good girl. She didn’t cry once in her crate overnight and she was very good outside. I don’t know how much she whined in the bathroom during the day–and she can get loud–but I haven’t heard any complaints.

I’m hoping that Carmelita can get crate trained and housebroken before we go to Texas for Christmas.

Drea’s going back to Texas. For good. This is kind of recent, and I’ve been keeping it secret to most save a couple of friends that I’m in constant touch with. Anyway, I won’t dwell on that for now, but let’s keep it light, check out my newest baby:

Huge news… Drea and I are getting a dog! A whippet and chihuahua mix–it has the face and head shape of a greyhound dog and a slightly bigger frame of a chihuahua. It’s a sweet dog, barely barks and has a kind sentiment.

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We had to work our butts off for this dog. The Washington Animal Rescue league must have had at least 8 applicants, they said there was stiff competition and I had to do 2 telephone interviews, one in the begining and another after I looked through a set of links and studied information they gave me.

In addition, they called Drea’s old pet vets as reference checks on how she treated them. There was also an print application and there will be a home visit to seal the deal.

We had to fax a copy of our lease, and I had to get Drea’s psychiatrist to write a note to give us permission from our apartment complext. The apartment doesn’t allow for dogs (2 cats, yes, but not dogs).

The conditions are:

**dog weighs 20 pounds or less

**$250 refundable deposit (on top of current deposit)

**management reserves right to remove allowance of dog if neighbors complain of noise

Things Drea and I have to do for Carmelita, our new dog:

**Buy fence for her to have kitchen dining room play area

**buy crate

**buy better furniture (my cheap ass had the TV on a cardboard box with blanket on top)

**buy leash, dog food, toys and treats
**buy doggy insurance

**find local vet

**Get Drea to read and study crate training and other dog resources

**Look into travel w/ pets for christmas vacation–oooh, I sure do hope Carmelita and Rex get along

What am I getting into?

This means I can’t continue my two times a day at the gym habit. Drea and I are starting to get to know the staff and regulars. I’ve been to the gym 10 times in the last 5 days, perhaps I should take a break and just stick to the mornings and not morning and nights…

This week I’ve run 8 miles, swam for at least 2 hours, did weights for every part of my body every other day…. ellipticals, the stair machine… everything but classes… aaaah. I feel so good, but I haven’t been sleeping right. oh well, you can’t have everything. Now we have a dog!!!

Oh, and after a 6 week hiatus, I’m starting to talk to my ex boyfriend again! I met up with him at the gym and he drove me home from work today. I have discipline and strong will power and am secure that nothing will happen with him (as horny as I have been, seeing as how I haven’t been on a date or close w/ a guy for 6 or 7 weeks!)

I don’t think he wants anything either seeing as how he dumped me 3 times and I finally got the hint the third time around. I know, I’m such a loser. But I really loved this guy a lot. Glad we can rise above it and be friends. Craziness.

When i first started working at my org, I hit the ground running by traveling all over the place. I remember conference after conference, meeting after meeting, event upon event, running into the same industry people. During down times (where they wouldn’t have to talk to patients, families, doctors or nurses), they would gather around in their suits and talk in circles about their lives.

I remember in my second month on the job, going to a conference in Baltimore and meeting some of these industry folks, standing around in a circle. I joined their rank and file and listened to them talk about their kids and how hard it is to raise ‘em. They would talk about how this daughter nearly destroyed the car while learning to drive or that son just learned how to read a sentence before the other kids in his grade. All of them would talk and listen with a knowing look on their faces.

While they spoke, I couldn’t really connect, but boy was I happy not to have any stories to share. I was a happy single, sans child, and I flaunted my single-ness, chiming in with stories of clubbing and meeting guys and sleeping in and doing whatever the hell I wanted to. I MISS THAT!

So that conference I attended in Baltimore takes place every two years and yesterday, 2 years later, I trekked up my boss and other staff and again, joined the industry rank and file in their communication-circle.

This time was different though. I had brought Drea with me! She was running around with fairy wings and was a little on the loud side. Everyone knew who she was as I had introduced her to some people and once she felt comfortable, started introducing herself to EVERYONE else. She’s just like me, sociable, fearless in crowds, and high energy.

So all of a sudden, I was encircled by some of the industry ladies, this time, they were animatedly welcoming me into the motherhood inner-circle. "How is it like being a mom of a 14 year old GIRL?" They knew something I hadn’t prior to Drea and they wanted to hear my war stories. "So you’re keeping her for a year?" I almost felt like I could hear them laughing on the inside with delight. But then they immediately started offering help and support, "you can always leave Drea with me a weekend if you need to travel for work" and "you should come over our house for a fun night of pizza and a movie." So they might have been laughing at my being the "new parent on the block" but they were also extending a helping hand.

It’s amazing how those with parents are fully aware of the family battlefield–adults versus kids–and how the throngs of singles have NO CLUE. I mean, I’ve always known how hard it is to have a kid and for that reason did I never ever want to have one, but man, I didn’t know it was this difficult. I only have one kid, it’s totally temporary, but it’s still kicking the shit out of me. AND, I have a great kid too. It’s just the teenage years and her family circumstance and my not driving, and my full time job, and my no extra help (no grandparents, husband, or other family network) makes it incredibly difficult). And dang is it expensive!

I still can’t believe that my ol’ 6th grade crush found me on MySpace. It makes me blush!

The weird thing is that it is as though we have been living parallel lives–he calls it "cultural twins" because our interests–books, movies, music and our eccentricities–are all in line. it’s uncanny, but it’s serious synchronicity at work.

It’s like when I became friends with my childhood best friend Wendy. I knew her in preschool and we HATED eachother. She became friends with my sister Jennifer (who I am polar opposites with in every way–I was weird and science-y, she was sporty and pretty; I was a pug and she was a golden retriever, if that makes any sense)

Anyways, I KNEW Wendy was using my sister out of boredom. However, at the time, Jennifer was my enemy, so I was SOOO confused. I hated Jennifer, I hated Wendy, Wendy was using Jennifer… who do I hate?

Turns out that Wendy and I hated eachother because we had a lot in common–isn’t that hilarious? When the stars aligned and we finally became friends, were united against Jennifer and completely inseperable. We would finish each other’s sentences, spend hours together laughing and were overall freakishly connected at the hip. We practically spoke another language with our inside jokes (and I still remember almost every one of them.)

Um, what does this have to do with 6th grade boy? Our friends come to us in mysterious ways! Is that really the lesson?

I have a great story from the sixth grade about this boy who I used to love. He moved to Tex-ass after the sixth grade, but I used to think that he would have totally been my 7th grade boyfriend if he had stayed.

Before he left, he and a friend wrote his name and number on 32 slips of paper to hand out to everyone in the class. I knew he did this so that he could give me his number without it looking like it was JUST for me.

I didn’t want him to think I liked him, so I took the slip of paper and in front of his face, almost immediately after receiving it, I crumpled it up and tossed it in the trash. He was pissed, and looked like he was about to cry when he scolded me and said that he and his friend had spent a lot of time and energy writing his number down. Of course I didn’t want him to think I liked him! The games we play–even in our pre-pubescent youth!

He moved to Arlington, Texas (I never forgot that!) and I haven’t told this story in over 15 years! I don’t know what prompted it but I told this story to Aundrea last week and it came up again today when I told it all over again to my friend Wendy. It was so random that after 15 years, I would tell the tale of lost love twice!

Why am mentioning this now?

HE FOUND ME TODAY!!!

It was the craziest thing.

I got a MySpace email saying I had a message from "Brian the Curler" and I thought it was some random homo hair-stylist or weird local breeder from bumble-fuck Virginia telling me how "cute" i was and let’s be friends at first and see what happens.

However, when I saw the subject line: "Debbie from Gonzalvez Elementary?" I knew it was him and I nearly screamed from hilarity when I saw that it was him. What are the odds of mentioning this story twice to a friend after all these years and then hearing from him? Karma!

I always wondered about him and even looked him up randomly on friendster. So he still lives in Texas, he’s still weird (he juggles!) and he said that he had no idea that I liked him (he thought I didn’t even think I rememer him because I was so indifferent… boy, my "playing hard to get" really worked…hahaha)

So I raised the point that I’ll be in Texas for christmas and he suggested that we meet up out of sheer curiosity and for old time’s sake. He’ll get his karma when I see him because I’ll write my number on 32 slips of paper and when I pass it out to him he can trash it in front of my face. Then the balance will be right and he can go back to living his life… hahahhahhaha

So is that crazy or what? There are other weird coincidences too, like, we’re both total weirdos and have recently become completely, passionately, smitten with a specific sport (he out-geeks me here because he likes CURLING! the only curling I do is with a leave in conditioner and a special blow dryer)

Oh yeah, and another weird coin-cee-dink: I moved to Silver Spring and he was born there. He lives in Texas and a good chunk of my family moved there. Um, am I leaving anything else out? I dunno.

Um, anyway… is that craziness or what? Maybe I should start telling people I won the lottery so that it can happen.

*ps* I’m totally going to meet up with him in Texass!

In honor of the 2 month anniversary of Drea’s arrival upon DC, I will post a pictorial review of the best of life events from Drea and Debbie’ Big Adventures (*clap* *clap* "deep in the heart of… DC" <– if you get that reference, I love you!)

Drea’s first metro:

Drea’s first (of many) ER visits:

Drea’s first trip to the zoo:

Drea’s first big school assignment:

Drea’s first visit to the DC National Basilica (aka "The Shrine of the Immaculate Concpetion Holy… Something Else"

Drea’s first miss on her gay-dar, her "unkeeee davey!" :

Drea’s first trick-or-treating in DC:

Drea’s first slumber party in DC:

Drea’s first trip to Gravelly Point to watch planes come in from National Airport:

Drea’s first baseball game (nats vs. braves):

Drea’s first (of many) trips to Asylum:

and of course, my most recent "trip" (with Unkee Davey, while Drea was hanging out with friends):

Finally, Drea’s first restaurant that is not Pizza Hut or Dairy Queen:

I swear I am like the mom with the accordian style wallet picture holder dangling down to the ground full of pics of my BABY!!!!!!!!!!!

Today sucked a little bit. I got into work early but had a hard time concentrating, I could be here until midnight and the work wouldn’t be done. I’m thinking about coming in on Sunday.

I wish my mom was here to help me take care of Aundrea. It would be GREAT to have someone pick her up from school and hang with her until I got home. It would be AWESOME if someone could drive her to her doc appointments so I could keep on working. I would love to go clubbing and have someone take care of her one night.

I need a wife!

But seriously folks, child-rearing is serious business. So vote on November 7th, this tuesday, and vote for a pro-choice candidate and a candidate that supports sexual health education, contraception, and reproductive freedom because motherhood could happen to you and when you least expect it. Because if abstainence ain’t for everyone and not realistic (especially grown adults) and the rythm method means every two years.

Find your polling place!