Me, Gays and Breeders
Why do I try to deny my inner and outer fag-hag? So what if I am only able to interact with 1 out of 10 people on this planet? In Washington, all of these "ones" are confined around 22nd and P to 12th and U. They’re easy to find and if I don’t stray out of these areas, I might be able to relax and not worry about what people think! I’m too outrageous and Queenie for the general public. Seriously! I talk too readily about taboo topics like sex, drugs, alcohol, partying and other frivolous things that I find myself at odds with other breeders, socially awkward! NO, I don’t think that’s it. I don’t know why I have a hard time socializing in hetero circles. Perhaps because half of them are conservative? No, that’s not it. I don’t know why, but what’s weird is that I’m the reverse Paul (my b/f/f)–he has a hard time becoming friends with other gay men! All of his friends are straight women and bisexual men. It’s weird.
Maybe my problem is only with "the Man." Straight men. My feminist years and then isolation in the gay community has made it extremely hard for me to kick it with straightees. Perhaps that’s why I don’t spend much time talking to them when I go on dates and immediately take it to a place where talking is not necessary?
I’m SO awkward on dates. It’s SO forced. who are you, what do you do, where do you go, what do you like, tell me about your family… urgh, it’s like a job interview. I am never good meeting someone because I’m thinking about how I’m getting sized up and what if I say something too outrageous. Also, if I act all Queenie, I’m SURE it will scare the dude away. I need someone EXTREMELY gay friendly, like my ex bf, John. When I met him I thought he was gay and I acted like myself! We were PERFECT together and if circumstances were different we might still be together–perhaps!
Anyway, gays aren’t just in Dupont. I know I said 22/p to 12/U, but actually, the homos are moving into Adams Morgan. Like pied piper charming the rats out of the gutters, I have heralded the gays to Columbia and 18th. I can’t take credit for that, but it appears as though more and more of my friends are hanging in my hood. It makes it too easy for me to avoid straightees. well, someone at work kept reminding me all day long that i was turning 30 next year and it made me think that perhaps I should settle down? NO WAY! I’m not ready for my DEB-utante ball. I would rather be alone than unhappy! It’s not fair, but it’s okay. I’m going to make it anyway…
*ps* I went to the Octopus Bar under Cafe Japonaise with Paul and ran into Ry and his new boy Tony. That bar is the bomb. We made friends with the bartenders, DJ’s and everyone in the place and ended up dancing to D&B until it closed down. That place is SO much fun! Paul is still @ Apex where I left him there, drunk as a skunk…
June 16th, 2006 at 5:44 am
Hah! That bit about the “first date interview” is SO TRUE. I hate to say it, but sometimes I have to scan magazines or listen to NPR on the way to a first date just to give myself something to talk about. Otherwise I fall into the same conversational hell: “where do you work? How well do you get along with your family? Oh! You crochet pictures of schlongs onto pillows! That’s so interesting!”
June 16th, 2006 at 6:00 am
hhahahhaha! you said “schlongs”
June 16th, 2006 at 7:24 am
Gee, you seem to have no problem with me. Hhmm, is that a good thing or a bad thing?
June 16th, 2006 at 7:36 am
You know, I think you should just pretend that most people are gay or gay friendly. If you “scare off” straight assholes, that’s kind of okay, isn’t it? I mean, how long can you maintain a relationship with an asshole (not _that_ kind of asshole!)? I’m sure there are some straight men in the world who wouldn’t be afraid of someone so open, open-minded, and fantastic as Deb.
June 16th, 2006 at 8:41 am
You guys ROCK! Matthew, you are special, this is why I can talk to you. There’s another guy that actually helped me get out of my fear of straightees WAY back in the day. His name is Andreas and he is really the coolest…
June 16th, 2006 at 8:58 am
I love you Deb, with Gays, with Straightees, with anyone… By the way, when are you going to persue your dream to do stand-up comedy?
Call me Bitch……..
Love, Brisdiva
June 16th, 2006 at 11:20 am
tomorrow.
June 19th, 2006 at 7:49 pm
yeah we all should luv u!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!
June 20th, 2006 at 2:39 pm
your blog is nice…. and its true that being our self would free us…
June 20th, 2006 at 4:58 pm
just i see the most beautyful women…and God bless you debbie
June 20th, 2006 at 11:04 pm
you are so beautiful and your body structure are so nice i really like you pls sent reply soon ok,bye takecare
June 20th, 2006 at 11:09 pm
you are so beautiful and your body structure are so nice i really like you pls sent reply soon ok,bye takecare
June 21st, 2006 at 11:56 pm
hi
June 22nd, 2006 at 11:33 pm
wow! finally someone who talks oh so true stuff! go debbie, i admire your wits. the stuff you said about interacting with straights especially men is so true, but i still talk to them and if they act all nasty, i would just tell them that their attitude sucks. even conservative people give me “evil” looks but i look at them then roll my eyes the other way.. people wont see it as queenie but it would look so bitchy.. =) haha
June 23rd, 2006 at 3:50 am
ur so ugly
June 23rd, 2006 at 7:24 am
blech
June 23rd, 2006 at 10:43 am
like you’re the only one to ever feel like this.
June 23rd, 2006 at 9:47 pm
im a gay from phil. but for us you have to be who u are ther are freak outside who u cant understand the situation………I DONT CARE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
June 23rd, 2006 at 9:55 pm
After reading a few of your blog entries Deb, what I get is that you are totally authentic, no BS, no image issues whatsoever, and anyone who is not, you see right through, whether they are gay, straight, liberal, conservative, or whatever other labels people like to attach to themselves. I mean let’s face it fake people cross every demographic imagineable. I would be curious to know if your relationship with your sister, and the events of her life have impacted how you view the world and the people around you. I am often told I am too honest. I look at people funny when they say it, but like you, I cannot imagine being anything else. I challenged my older students at the end of this school year to do the same, and to take a stand for it, and to not give in to what others think. I think it hit home with them after finding out that it cost me my job. (Not to worry I found another one shortly after) It’s who I am. But I see it very similarly. My boss was a phony and a schmoozer, and it was nauseating to say the least, so I resigned. The challenge we have though is to just accept the people we know for who they are, and try not to judge. Notice I said try.
Humans are judging machines. So we all know people are phony. Guys in bars are horny, people with perfect teeth and dark tans are trying to sell something, or are running for an office, the list can go on and on, but we decide that we will avoid them, and if they are happy, good for them. They are not going to have an impact on my attitude toward my day or who I am with, or what I am really on this planet for.
Just two cents from a straight guy……8-)
June 24th, 2006 at 4:19 am
Interesting character….. n I agree with your ideas…… Rock on….
June 24th, 2006 at 9:40 am
very sexy
mommmmmm
June 25th, 2006 at 5:12 am
beutiful hair.
June 26th, 2006 at 5:24 am
Im one STRAIGHT guy and I love my wife more than life.
But just to share…. count me in…. HAPPINESS is never measured nor defined and one can only attain true happiness if she/he embraces the truth of who he/she actually is.
Life is short so strive to be happy - nevermind the NORMS and all those bull…..
….the very ones creating the rules are mostly the 1st ones to jump off a skyscraper for being too tight> Just be sure where your nose ends and that is where the other person’s nose begins, got it?
LIVE LIFE TO THE FULLEST.