Tails of a 17th Street Geisha

So my great friend David comes over to my house so I can get ready for the Roni Size show. I had a date with this guy Ron before the concert and I was dressed up for Ozio knowing that i would have to come back and switch into more comfy shoes to dance in. Anyways, we come home and I play some roni size for david and hang out in my bedroom…

Then.. a KNOCK on the door. Several more knocks. I have a really bad feeling so I tell David to answer it. He gets the door and I go to the bathroom and lock myself behind the door. I know, dramatic, but I had a horrible feeling. David comes into the bathroom and tells me that the next door neighbor walked away and flashed the barrel of the gun, very subtle-like. ANYWAY, I had David call 9-11 and in a matter of minutes 6 cops come by the condo. I tell them what David saw and ALL SIX of them go into the next door neighbors place searching for the gun. He says that he doesn’t have a gun and that his wallet key chain might look like a holster, but David said he definitely saw a metal barre ll.

The cops tell me that they told the neighbor that if he has any complaints to call the cops and not to approach me.

My next door neighbor has some SERIOUS mental health issues. One can not be SO old and have acute hearing.

He has left me notes under the door with medical diagnosis sheets, explaining to me that I am the cause of high blood pressure, insomnia and increased stress.

He says I need to put carpet on my floors and I think he’s ridiculous. I’m typing at my computer, sitting still and listening on cheapie computer speakers. i don’t even have the volume high, it’s pretty low and David and I were chatting away.

When I first met this neighbor, we were at the reception of the building and he told me with a straight face that "the walls are PAPER THIN" and that "this building was built in the 1920s…" He had a spiel about the noise.

Suffice it to say that I really wish I had someone here living with me 24/7 to back me up if he is packing a gat.

what if David wasn’t here and I answered the door? What if the neighbor, in his infinite stress, went nuts and did try to kill me. I wouldn’t put it passed him because he is seriously mentally ill. I’m very scared now. I don’t want to die because I’m walking around in my apartment. The cops said that I can’t put a restraining order on him unless he does something to me. I can’t believe that I have to live next to a psycho.

I’ve stopped playing dance dance revolution, put a wall up for sound buffer, moved all the noisy things (tv/radio) into the other room, put a carpet under my computer chair so that I wouldn’t make the noise he complains about when i move my chair against the floor… I EVEN SOLD MY FUCKING TURNTABLES!!!!!!! I’ve stopped playing music out of my mega-bass speakers… I’ve re-arranged my bed so that it isn’t pressed up against his wall, nor any other wall so that if I’m ever having sex it wouldn’t bang up against the wall and make noise.

The cop even told me that if he doesn’t like the noise at night that he shouldn’t have his bed up against the wall we share. Seriously!

This entry was posted on Saturday, April 1st, 2006 at 9:33 pm and is filed under Uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can skip to the end and leave a response. Pinging is currently not allowed.