Tails of a 17th Street Geisha

I’m going through a period of increased introversion. I’m hanging out with my friends less and barely going out. I had a brief stint of the gay social life, fag-hagging (yes, I made it a verb) with friends from Orlando who had been planning a trip to DC for months (I couldn’t say know and thought it might be therapeutic given my uber-sad state.)

I’ve been dabbling back into the Tarot cards and for the last several weeks, I’ve been given the advice to stay away from people and become "the hermit." To discover myself unfettered by the opinions of others and of outside circumstances. Or something. So I’m striking out by staying in.

That said… some people are approaching me about my birthday. I’ve been known to throw massive parties for myself (I have no shame.) Who can recall the wonders of "bottle service for 110 at Felix" or the triumphant 26th/going away party that ended up with me getting Amelia’s leftovers.

but this year I will not be doing anything.

Well, I’ll be running a 10k (6.2 miles) and watching a Lord of the Rings marathon @ the Arlington Cinema and Drafthouse the weekend before my b-day, but I will not do anything the mark the 29th anniversary of the introduction of my amazing self into this planet.

I WAS planning on doing a fundraiser for PH and my half-marathon race at Disneyland in September, but I haven’t had time to plan it…

I won’t say "no" to a mix CD; trip to Ikea, Trader Joe’s, or gym; or a long outdoor run to to commemorate my 29th! :)))

I haven’t cried about Susan’s death in public in what seems like an eternity. Perhaps I haven’t cried in front of others since I came back to work last Thursday. Every time I get a sympathy card, I choke up. However, I’ve been really good at holding back in public until I get home and I’m all by myself and left to my own thoughts. Today I totally lost it. I got several cards from my organization’s loving Board members, who have had to deal with death among friends and family because of the cruel nature of pulmonary hypertension. One of the cards I received had the most beautiful message that really made me melt-down:

Life is Eternal

I am standing upon the seashore.

A ship at my side spreads

her white sails to the morning breeze

and starts for the ocean blue.

She is an object of beauty and strength

and I stand and watch her

until at length she hangs

like a speck of white cloud

just where the sea and sky

come down to mingle with each other.

Then someone at my side says,

"There! She’s gone."

Gone Where?

Gone from my sight — that is all.

She is just as large in mast and hull

and spar as she was when she left my side,

and just as able to bear her load

of living freight to the place of destination.

Her diminished size is in me, not in her;

and just at the moment when someone

at my side says, "There! She’s gone,"

there are other voices ready to take up

the glad shout, " There she comes!"

On April 5, 2006, my beautiful sister, at the age of 39 and with 2 young children, died of endometrial cancer.

Mifepristone is a drug that has proven results in treating this and other kinds of reproductive cancers. Unfortunately, politics has hijacked this important breakthrough in women’s health. Since mifepristone is also a drug that can be used to induce an abortion, this administration has weakened research and access to this drug–EVEN for cancer!

This is my reason for walking in the Feminist Majority Foundation’s walk for women’s lives on April 23rd? I’m going to volunteer! Wanna come and have fun volunteering for a cause and helping me to honor my sister?

-Debbie

—–
A Call For Volunteers!

Dear Feminist Activist,

The Feminist Majority Foundation is looking for dedicated activists who are interested in volunteering their time to the National Walk for Women’s Lives ~ a 5k fun-walk this Sunday, April 23, 2006 in Arlington, VA.

We are looking for people who can help as volunteers to make this walk as successful as possible. Below is additional information on the walk. If you are interested in volunteering, please contact Candice Lopez at 703-522-2214 or clopez@feminist.org.

REGISTER TODAY!

The registration fee for the National Walk for Women’s Lives is $25.00 which includes your Walk for Women’s Lives 2006 T-Shirt!

Encourage friends and family to sponsor your walk once you have registered!

Can’t join the walk? Sponsor the Walk for Women’s Lives Team!

All proceeds support research on the use of mifepristone to treat progesterone-dependent cancers!

Saturday, April 23rd ~ Rally starts at 9:00 AM at the Women’s Memorialin Arlington, VA (Ceremonial Entrance to Arlington National Cemetery). 

The Walk will begin immediately following the rally at 9:30 AM .

The Walk for Women’s Lives is a 5K (3.2 miles) fun walk to support research and clinical trials on the use of mifepristone to treat progesterone-dependent uterine and ovarian cancers.

Progesterone-dependent cancers make up 40% of ovarian cancer, 85% of uterine cancer, and 60% of breast cancer!

For more than a decade, the Feminist Majority Foundation mifepristone compassionate use program has been encouraging and advocating for clinical trials using mifepristone, to treat many life-threatening illnesses which disproportionately affect women. In an historic breakthrough, the Feminist Majority Foundation will sponsor clinical trials for patients with progesterone-dependent uterine and ovarian cancers in 2006, but your help is needed.

Questions? Contact the Walk for Women’s Lives Team at 703-522-2214.

We need you to help Walk for Women’s Lives!

For equality,

The Walk for Women’s Lives Team

Susan Elizabeth (Castro) Nichols

October 15, 1966 - April 5th, 2006

I’m getting on a plane for LA. They’re taking my sister off of life support tonight and I’m trying to beat the clock to see her one last time. My flight gets into LA at 10:05pm. Pray for me!

So my great friend David comes over to my house so I can get ready for the Roni Size show. I had a date with this guy Ron before the concert and I was dressed up for Ozio knowing that i would have to come back and switch into more comfy shoes to dance in. Anyways, we come home and I play some roni size for david and hang out in my bedroom…

Then.. a KNOCK on the door. Several more knocks. I have a really bad feeling so I tell David to answer it. He gets the door and I go to the bathroom and lock myself behind the door. I know, dramatic, but I had a horrible feeling. David comes into the bathroom and tells me that the next door neighbor walked away and flashed the barrel of the gun, very subtle-like. ANYWAY, I had David call 9-11 and in a matter of minutes 6 cops come by the condo. I tell them what David saw and ALL SIX of them go into the next door neighbors place searching for the gun. He says that he doesn’t have a gun and that his wallet key chain might look like a holster, but David said he definitely saw a metal barre ll.

The cops tell me that they told the neighbor that if he has any complaints to call the cops and not to approach me.

My next door neighbor has some SERIOUS mental health issues. One can not be SO old and have acute hearing.

He has left me notes under the door with medical diagnosis sheets, explaining to me that I am the cause of high blood pressure, insomnia and increased stress.

He says I need to put carpet on my floors and I think he’s ridiculous. I’m typing at my computer, sitting still and listening on cheapie computer speakers. i don’t even have the volume high, it’s pretty low and David and I were chatting away.

When I first met this neighbor, we were at the reception of the building and he told me with a straight face that "the walls are PAPER THIN" and that "this building was built in the 1920s…" He had a spiel about the noise.

Suffice it to say that I really wish I had someone here living with me 24/7 to back me up if he is packing a gat.

what if David wasn’t here and I answered the door? What if the neighbor, in his infinite stress, went nuts and did try to kill me. I wouldn’t put it passed him because he is seriously mentally ill. I’m very scared now. I don’t want to die because I’m walking around in my apartment. The cops said that I can’t put a restraining order on him unless he does something to me. I can’t believe that I have to live next to a psycho.

I’ve stopped playing dance dance revolution, put a wall up for sound buffer, moved all the noisy things (tv/radio) into the other room, put a carpet under my computer chair so that I wouldn’t make the noise he complains about when i move my chair against the floor… I EVEN SOLD MY FUCKING TURNTABLES!!!!!!! I’ve stopped playing music out of my mega-bass speakers… I’ve re-arranged my bed so that it isn’t pressed up against his wall, nor any other wall so that if I’m ever having sex it wouldn’t bang up against the wall and make noise.

The cop even told me that if he doesn’t like the noise at night that he shouldn’t have his bed up against the wall we share. Seriously!