Tails of a 17th Street Geisha

***I could sleep in until 8am

***I could eat pizza and lose weight

***My condo cleaned itself

***I lived in Dupont, near a metro

***I had bought property in Dupont 5 years ago instead of 1 year ago

***I had learned to drive when I was a teenager (instead, I ditched school on the day of the driver’s test)

***I had changed my major to drama and women’s studies instead of anthropology

***I could get over my catholic guilt and regrets

***I cared less about what people thought about me, my personality, my looks, my intellect

***I had spent less time drinking and more time figuring out what I wanted to do while in college

***I had spent less time drinking and more time exercising while working at the feminist majority

***I could fall asleep without the aid of Nyquil

***I had a fuck-buddy so I wouldn’t be so strung out and horny! THIS is why I can’t get any sleep.

***I had a long term plan

***I was 3 inches taller

***I wasn’t scared by scary and/or catholic movies

***politics didn’t depress me and make me feel so helpless

***I was paid to use my social networking and interpersonal communication skills

***and I wish that at this dream job, I had an assistant to keep me organized and remind me of people’s names and back stories!!!

did I mention I needed sleep?

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