Fear and insecurities…

I ran 2 miles today and I was a sweaty mess. I can normally run 3 miles without problems, but somehow I just couldn’t muster the energy. I’ve only run 3 times in the last 10 days and a total of 8 miles. This is ridiculous.

Now I’m down in the dumps. I feel like my body can’t handle it. how am I ever going to run a 10k in 10 weeks if I can only run 2 miles!

Also, I went partying this weekend with Gianni and friends at Lizard Lounge and Cobalt and realized that I have really been neglecting my duties as a friend and straight-girl ambassador to the gay community. I had an absolute BLAST, ran into a million old friends and realized that there are some places still left in DC where the music is worth dancing to!

Thirdly, my workload is increasing dramatically–to Feminist Majority proportions-ish–and I have to cut something out of my life…

As of today, I resign my heterosexual duties of dating and meeting guys.  It’s either gym or Jim, and I choose the Washington Sports Club and Wendy’s gym. Fuck it. I’m not ready to date. I don’t have time and I’m really letting myself go in the health department. I have been eating really well, but I just haven’t been exercising and that’s really upsetting.

I’m actually so upset about the exercise situation that if I don’t exercise in the morning (which I haven’t done in a LONG time) then I will force myself to exercise at night, regardless of when I come home from work. Partying be damned!

Oh and one more thing: FUCK! Somehow, it’s 1 in the morning and I’m wide awake. I’ll be up at 5 tomorrow morning, like fucking clock-work. Wendy, pass the ambien…

5 Responses to “Fear and insecurities…”

  1. Alex Says:

    Deb babe, I’m so proud of you for eatting healthy and exercising so much, but please don’t push your body to a limit that it just wont tolerate. 10k is a long long way…. i couldn’t even make a 1/2 k oh heck, 1/3 k. lol. I worry about you exercising so much. Are you somehow using it as a high? you know the runner’s high I’m talking about. right?

    I’m also very happy that you’ve come to realize that you aren’t ready to date. Don’t push yourself that way anyhow. The right man will be there for you when you least expect him!

    I love you babe!
    your big sis!
    ^i^

  2. Debbie Says:

    Boy do you know me or what? Everything is an addiction with me. Even healthy shit!

  3. Alex Says:

    I think addictions run in the family…..

  4. Debbie Says:

    I know yours: shopping, internet, talking shit behind people’s back! hehehe

  5. Alex Says:

    I’ve never spoken about some one behind their backs! It’s always to their face!

    Did you hear about Lo? ROFL!!! love you!
    ^i^

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