Drinking test
So I’ve been dating these guys I met through dating websites, meeting up with them on MY turf (gayborhood bars or cafes) and *still* having a hard time. I’m not used to straight people. I’m so submerged in gays that I think, gay until proven straight. In order for me to be full reintroduced and assimilated into straight society, I thought I would date guys and deal with breeders, one at a time.
Well tonight I took the plunge. It’s 2am and I just came back from a straight club. I SURVIVED WITHOUT A DRIP OF ALCOHOL. It was hard at first because I went with gay bf Gianni who brought his brother.
Here’s why his brother spelled trouble: once last winter while a little intoxicated, I made out with his brother at my house. This time, his brother was the drunk one and making passes the entire time. He’s nice and everything, but I was already apprehensive about testing my sobriety in such a frightening place–a STRAIGHT CLUB.
In tense situations, I used to drink to feel better, more comfortable. Straight clubs (with all their nasty men, hootchie girls, and bad music) makes me want to get rip-roaring-too-drunk-to-be-aware-of-surroundings-DRUNK. I knew that this club, Ozio, would be a test. But who knew that I would be pushed to the limits of my will-power–Gianni’s brother kept offering me drinks, pushed a bottle up to my lips when I wasn’t paying attention and kept making passes… grrrr!
But I survived. This isn’t the most interesting post, but it does show that I’m moving in the right direction and hopefully, able to get over this drinking thing.
July 31st, 2005 at 6:48 am
Big D!!! Congrats!! we are proud of you!!! and by we , i mean me. lol. maybe deb, you need to move away from all the gay stuff and just go cold turkey. just a thought. don’t kill me. lol
love ya!
Big A
July 31st, 2005 at 7:39 am
I can stop going to gay bars and clubs, stop hanging out in the gay-borhoods, but I will ALWAYS have my gay best friends!
Shout outs to my homos:
Plib, Chrib, Spinach, Peepers, Filip V, Brad M, Domingo M, Don P, Gianni L, David F, Jim Darling, Wes, JB, Jose, Brian (sad-eyes Cobalt), Ed from Irvine, Jose, Evgeni, Mark D., Mike E, Steve S, Tos, Tyler, Diego S, Michael R + Howard H., Chris Spindeleliililiuse, Matthew, Jay, John Paul V, Kreg, Ry, Richard, Marko, Rich, Aric, Roy, Derek, Scott T, Tavern Ticen, Tren, Lena Let, Sparkle… and if I’m missing someone sorry!
July 31st, 2005 at 3:58 pm
Shout back at ya babe! Don’t let them steal your soul or I will come boa and glitter you back to fagdom!
July 31st, 2005 at 4:10 pm
bring the boa on!
August 1st, 2005 at 7:59 am
Dude, i’m not saying get rid of your best friends. i know i am one of those !:-)
I’d never ever even think that… you know that!!!!
love ya big d!
Big A
ps. where’s my boas and glitter????
August 1st, 2005 at 3:47 pm
Mujer, I know you can do it… I don’t think that the straight-clubs are the best space to meet straight men but the mental and emotional energy necessary to get you beyond “heterophobia” is important!! Just remember, you don’t need to buy into the heterosexual paradigm; you redefine it in your OWN revolutionary way as you have done with a lot in your life!!
Good men are hard to find, straight or gay or in between… At this point, this is about building your own happiness so just b/c you aren’t meeting a “match” doesn’t mean YOU aren’t doing great work for yourself each and every day!!
Amores para ti mi vida!
-N (aka Radical Feminist, Iron Chef & Sex Toy Queen)
August 1st, 2005 at 5:53 pm
While still being “trained” in the way of the “FH” one of my gay husband’s friends told me, “It’s to your benefit to hang out with all of us. We socialize you on how to deal with men.” This couldn’t be further from the truth. We have been socialized on how to cater to the whims of gay men, which is why I find your “17th St. Geisha,” wildly apropos and hilariously poignant. Granted, women who are friends, true friends of gay men (not those who are “grace”lessly enamored with gay men or using them for access to the Louis Vuitton collection) do gather a lot of insight on previously unknown male behaviors: men do cry, every man has his own preferred fellatio technique, & 2xist underwear vs. commando-style can be debated even if you can’t win “best package night.” I think you can know all of this and still have a lot to learn about heterosexual men, and men as individuals, period. So my friend is wrong. But he is also right with respect to helping me come to a few realizations of my own. I want to date men who are as liberal with their emotions, their accessories and their use of clean underwear as they are with loving me. I’m not sorry that my male friends (yes, who happen to be gay) have loved and respected me while also trying my patience to the point where I have learned to ask, demand and expect to be treated how I want to be treated. Keep the people who appreciate you close, regardless of the orientation. And maybe bring some straight girl friends to help you handle Ozio and like ilk.
August 1st, 2005 at 7:58 pm
Well said Nohelia and Jolly! I especially loved the “liberal with their emotions, accessories, and use of clean underwear” gay-standard that you hold straight men to… ha!
August 5th, 2005 at 10:18 am
Sorry babe that I didn’t come out to Ozio! I really wanted to see you, but I was so exhausted that I would have made a bad showing anyway and gone home early. I’ve been really dragging ass lately, don’t know what’s wrong with me.
What are you up to this weekend? I’m trying out the straight dating thing as well (mostly from online connects) and a little exposure to the straight clubs/bars, skeevy though they may be, is helpful. I am sick of having stupid men grind their teeny little dicks against my ass as I’m dancing, yes, but you just tell them to step away from the merchandise and they usually do.
Lets go dancing! Chief Ike’s Mambo Room, a dive with fun, booty shaking music? Call me!