I get so emotional baby!
I feel a bit run down. I don’t know what my problem is. Even with my closest friends, I can’t express myself and how I feel.
I spent a couple of hours last night in my sister’s hot tub with my best friend Bri. We spoke a lot and I can tell her anything, but yet I would rather listen to her go on and on about her problems then discuss mine. She’s fun, I trust her, and I know she wouldn’t judge me and listen fully… but…
I don’t think I’ve expressed a serious emotion with anyone–even myself. I would rather ignore it and move on or feel it, but not think too much about it. I can complain, express happiness, talk shit about others, feel physical pain, but I can’t express sadness, fears or complex emotional issues that plague me. I’m too afraid of being vulnerable.
I have never told anyone a word. I think it’s funny that my rising sign is cancer because it’s very true. I have a very hard shell and inside a very soft underbelly that no one sees but a few (if any) that are close and who I trust. This means no one now.
How do I get over this?
June 30th, 2005 at 10:10 am
Happiness is a serious emotion, so I don’t think you are incapable of feeling emotions, you just (for whatever reason) have a real problem with the more complex emotions - though let me say, happiness is probably one of the most if not THE most complex emotions out there… it is so much easier to feel sad. More thoughts coming to your personal email, I don’t want to start another Tolstoy-esque comment
June 30th, 2005 at 11:36 am
Therapy, Deb, therapy. And alcohol is NOT therapy. I’ve been doing therapy for about 30 years now–22 with my current therapist alone (fortunately she’s my age, so she won’t retire on me–I’ll just go see her, or she’ll see me, at the old age home … if we’re lucky). It’s an incredible experience to work with another person on getting to know yourself….
June 30th, 2005 at 11:38 am
Don’t feel bad there is a lot of people in the world just like you. Showing/sharing emotions with other people is a difficult thing to do under the best circumstances. Basically you suffer from a trust issue most likely brought on early in your childhood by some kind of emotional trauma. If you don’t show any emotions then no-one can use them against you. I wish you had a least one person you could confide in about how your feeling It would be a good, first step, in resolving this issue if you had one. Remember that to experience love you have to let down your guard because emotions area two way street. If you give, then others can give to you and then your able to experience the joys and yes, also the sadness/pain of any emotion. Maybe you feel that people will reject you if you bare your emotions to them, I am not sure. What I am sure of is that the joy of expressing your emotions far out weight the loss your feeling now by not sharing them. Good luck and my heart goes out to you
Dave
June 30th, 2005 at 5:13 pm
Hey…Don’t made me afraid and feel sad for u…
U feel sad, I also will feel it…
U always have the happy go lucky thinking, right?
If u really cannot release any tension or sadness, write it in the diary…
Talks with ur family members…
Coz they r the person u can trust to…
I support u, okidoki???
Gambatek!
July 1st, 2005 at 7:48 pm
The only problem, if there is one, is that you think there is a problem. Dont get caught into conditionings that say how you need to be. The reality is life has many colors and seasons. They are all passing so when your blue, dont resist it, feel blue and it passes. The suffering is in the resistance.
About the expression of your feelings, just be natural. When you feel to express, express, when you feel introspective, be introspective. This to changes and flows. Where is the rule that says you should be any particular way, and who are you comparing yourself against. You always are unique, always have been, always will be …..PERFECT. Love Diaden