alcoholism–do I need AA or what?
Okay. I’ve been drinking hard core for the last 5-6 years and before that I had a bit of a hiatus because of a really bad relationship (he was controlling and he didn’t drink, so neither did I). Basically, ever since I was 17, I have enjoyed over-indulging in drinking, binging, if you will. I remember reading those typical questions, that if you answered "yes" to 3 or more times, you were considered an alcoholic:
1) Do you ever wake up with inexplicable bruises? (yes, but i’m naturally clumsy and wake up with bruises anyway)
2) Do you ever regret what you’ve done after a night of drinking? (yes, but I’m catholic, so I have loads of regret anyway, what makes regrettable actions while drunk any different than the regret I have of making a bad decision sober?)
3) Do you endanger yourself when drunk? (Yes, but I live in a city and I endanger myself by simply walking in the wrong neighborhood too!)
4) Do you endanger others when drunk? (Yes, but goddamn it, they’re drunk too so it’s not all my fault!)
Basically, according to silly surveys like this, I am considered an alcoholic. However, I don’t really think I am. I enjoy drinking. I enjoy the taste of wine and hard liquor (hate beer, save sweet cider). I think that alcohol is a recreation. Does anyone ever interrogate someone who likes to play tennis for fun? You could answer yes to several of the above questions for tennis players:
1) Do you ever wake up with inexplicable bruises? (Well yes, perhaps you forgot that you were hit by a ball during a game)
2) Do you ever regret what you’ve done after a game of tennis (okay, maybe this one doesn’t parallel drinking, but maybe, you’re creative…)
3) Do you endanger yourself when playing tennis? (Hello? balls flying around at 100 mph!!!)
4) Do you endanger others when playing tennis? (hello? balls flying around at 100 mph!!! and what if you get all mad a la John McEnroe and throw your racket at your opponent?)
Okay. Can someone validate my theory that I’m not an alcoholic? I hate groups, and AA seems a ridiculous way to resolve my problems. 12 steps my ass. The only 12 steps I’m a gonna take are the 12 steps it takes to go to the second floor of Cobalt (my neighborhood bar). I would go to Alcoholics Anonymous only to spike their punch and find more drinking buddies.
I write all of this because I’m mad as hell that a friend wants to drag me along to an AA meeting tomorrow night! Damn I’m mad! I need a fucking drink! JUST KIDDING! I could go on forever on this topic, but I will stop!
*ps* <— look at how much fun I have when I’m drunk! That’s what memories are made of (if you have a memory of it)
*pps* this whole post is a joke on drinking. I have a problem and am currently working on fixing it 
April 7th, 2005 at 9:25 am
with a picture like that, i <3 you already.
April 7th, 2005 at 8:29 pm
I envy you.. I’ve never got drunk before because I don’t like alcohol. I don’t know what’s like to be drunk…!
April 7th, 2005 at 10:53 pm
A friend in Med School told me that she went to an alcohol related meeting and they had only one question to determine if you had a drinking problem: Do you go out not knowing how much you’re going to drink that night? Or I guess, more to the point, can you not set limits on the number of drinks you’ll have when you go out? Meanwhile, my other friends tell me that they’re not alcoholics, they’re drunks because they don’t like meetings. My two cents: if you think you have a problem, then AA is a good organization that can help. I think friends sometimes worry too much, especially friends with past addictions. Finally (not too make this too painfully long), as for the tests, I think they’re much like drug commercials wherein they fish around for enough vague symptoms until they finally find one that you have.
Them: Do you sometimes feel sad?
Me: Um, yeah.
Them: Then try Zocor (or whatever) and you’ll be better. The only side effects are constant headaches, a veiled threat of “small percentage of people experiencing life-threatening problems” and anal leakage.
I would talk to a professional if you think you have a problem. Good luck.
April 8th, 2005 at 11:20 pm
Actually, a pretty standardized test for alcohol related problems is called the CAGE test.
CAGE stands for Cut down, Annoyed, Guilty, Eye-Opener.
And without further adeiu…I bring you the CAGE test:
1. Have you ever felt you should cut down on your drinking?
2. Have people annoyed you by criticizing your drinking?
3. Have you ever felt bad or guilty about your drinking?
4. Have you ever had a drink first thing in the morning to steady nerves or get rid of a hangover?
Scoring: Two or three affirmative answers should create a high index of suspicion. Four positive answers indicate alcoholism
So drink up and go talk to someone about it…no wait…