Tails of a 17th Street Geisha

I’m in such a funk.

I came home last night from work and slept from 7pm to 8am! I woke up once to pee, but basically, slept the entire time… basically, I hate my life right now.

My apartment looks like a bomb hit it, all my clothes are dirty–I don’t even have clean socks. My money is running out and the monthly mortgage and credit card bills scare me senseless! I haven’t gone to the gym for the last month (save twice in

Houston

to remind me just how much I miss it!)

But worst of all–my breathing/heart symptoms are coming back with a total vengeance making life more miserable than it already is, every DAY I talk to people with Pulmonary Hypertension and get obsessed and frightened by the symptoms they have (this morning I spoke to a mother of a 5 year old girl who died suddenly from PH and whose only symptom was fainting twice in the last year).  Even if don’t have PH, I still must get tested every 6 months.

There are some other issues that I feel too personally about to post here, and I know that I’m just whining and whining about all of it, but life kind of sucks right now, so I figured I would rant a bit!

This picture doesn’t even make me laugh like it used to (now you know that’s sad)

aaaaarrrgggghhhhh!!!! I told myself I wasn’t going to drink (or at least, keep it on the weekends) and here I go again.

My friend Jeannine is such a bad influence. We’ll make spontaneous plans to do something innocuous–like shopping–and then BOOM! all of a sudden we’re at a bar pounding drinks! "Just one drink" she says. We both know what that means deep down…

So, after 3 drinks at Park Bench Pub (where we ran into Alison, http://www.friendster.com/user.php?uid=106103 and Stacie, http://www.friendster.com/user.php?uid=4529719) we proceeded to Nanny O’Brian’s (both bars in Cleveland Park) and joined a raucous table of irish/british/scottish friends who traveled in for a wedding (oddly enough the reason for hanging out was Jeannine was to for me to get fitted for a bridesmaids dress for my sister’s wedding in July… AND actually the fact that I have to wear this, http://www.davidsbridal.com/images/makeamatch/catalog_page_3.jpg white top/pink skirt, drove me to drink!)

These brits drank me under the table. Poor Jeannine, I spent the whole time chatting up boys (and a girl!) while she… hmm… perhaps she was having a good time too, I had no idea where she was. You know it’s a bad night of drinking when your vision is so bad that you can’t see past the face of the person you’re talking to and the drink in your hand.

I’m soooo hung over. It’s already 11am and I haven’t done a drop of work. I don’t think anyone in the office has since we’re all chatting around and tired from the weekend’s board meeting in Houston.

The nice thing about this blog is that I doubt anyone’s reading so I can really use it as a diary. It’s like writing on a wall—so public, but nobody really sees it or gives a damn. God, the only thing good about drinking is that the alcohol that is still coursing through my veins is keeping me warm in my bitterly cold office (I can’t turn on a heater because it will short the electricity in my office—ghetto building!)

Why, oh why, did I stay up until 3am chatting with my friend in West Virginia? Guilty pleasures.

I got an email just now from a marketing person @ Friendster: "Y

our blog has been selected to be featured on Friendster. This means that a lot of people will be viewing your profile and blog…"

Should I edit out the mean bit about Feminist Majority? nah. Should I get rid of the Clinton pic for fear of infringing on  a copywrite? naaaah. Should I write a blog post and draw attention to the illegal activities and mean comments that might get me in trouble? oh yeah–that makes TOTAL SENSE…

So there you have it. I’m turning myself in. Give me the cuffs and a bottle of alcohol, we’re going to have fun in prison… Martha’s kind of hot, is she still serving time? Dropping the soap as you read this…

Love problems. Hmmm…

…to have growing feelings for someone you’ve never met–that’s definitely a love problem.

To fear meeting a heterosexual boy because you’ve drowned yourself in a sea of gay men and don’t know if you’ll be appreciated or even get along with aforementioned breeder. That’s another biggy.

To have two boys that you like attached to your goddamned friendster profile so you know that you can’t really talk about either of them for fear that you’ll let them know about what you really think… that’s not a love problem but a friendster problem. sheesh. Strike one.

You know your love life stinks when you’re lusting after guys you’ve never met. Especially when one is in West Virginia and the other is in England. Good God–strike two!

Ah, but perhaps there’s safety in distance… and perhaps I’m too scared of breeders so I choose to lust after boys that are too far away for any real chance for love. Hmmm… is this self-destructive?

This is another lame post that probably doesn’t make sense to anyone but me, but I don’t care and I gotta go back to work anyway… if it indeed *does* make sense, hit me back with your thoughts (not in comment format please!)

Guess what? I had a doctor’s appt last night and found out that my cholesterol went down by 75 motherf*’in points! From 250 to 175! This is unbelievable because I didn’t drop it by taking meds but by simple changing my diet (praise south beach) and exercise (praise the condo building’s gym).

High cholesterol runs in the family and even my skinny bro Ralph’s cholesterol jumps when he eats carrots all day… ha!

So basically, if you stop drinking alochol 5 nights a week, drop your level of stress by quitting a horrible job with a horrible boss (a la Feminist Majority) , put food in your fridge and cook for yourself instead of eating out breakfast/lunch/dinner, and go to the gym every now and again… you too can lower your cholesterol without drugs!

God… this was a lame post… time to try again.

Okay. I totally should be working right now, I’m absolutely swamped but had to take a quick break to check on email. It’s my latest compulsion–checking email every 5 minutes. Basically, I love getting email from a certain person and so I check my email like a freak, waiting for a response!

Anyway, I checked email and saw that I got a response from this boy who went to UCI and was sucked back into friendster. I saw this whole web-log feature and wanted to be the first to lay claim to "Debbie" as a blog name, so here I am! hahahahah hooray! I’m the first and now all other Debbie’s must bow to me!

Oh, I really gotta get back to work…

-Debbie

*ps* I’m going to the doc for a physical exam and follow up to a lab I had last week…! It doesn’t have anything to do with the PH, but I will have some news on the cholesterol front (which runs in the family and I hate having to worry about it at the age of twenty-cough-cough-cough… ahem…)